Foreskin
The foreskin and its circumcision play a very prominent role in religion, so the corresponding puns must play a great role in spookery. I suggest that it’s מול את בשר ערלה mwl ˀt bšr ˁrlh for “cutting the flesh of the foreskin”, punning with מלל את בשר רעלה mll ˀt bšr rˁlh for “telling the message of the veil”. Naturally, the spooky secret about their collective “veil” can only be told to a spook’s offspring or new recruits, so it has been pun-transformed into a kind of initiation rite.
The word ערלה ˁrlh for “foreskin” is a straightforward pun with רעלה rˁlh, a special Hebrew word for “veil”. Spookery is all about veiling the truth, so we can assume this pun is important. It may be surprising that the law says to “cut it off”, because spooks never “cut off” their “veil”. In punnery however, it’s the precise wording that’s important, and the Bible only ever uses one specific word for the “cutting”: It’s מול mwl, which puns with מלה mlh for “speech”, with מלל mll for “talking”, and with מעול m-ˁwl for “introduction”. So “cutting the foreskin” here means “talking of the veil” or “introduction to the veil”.
To make clear that this is not one of the laws about snitching, the ancient spooks included another pun word: בשר bšr for “flesh” also means “family”, and puns with בשר bšr for “good message”. So “cutting the flesh of the foreskin” here means “talking to your family / of the good message of the veil”.
The spooks made it a law about one’s descendants and household members, because generally spooks should only ever instruct their descendants and household members. The literal law is only about male descendants, for the “foreskin” pun, but daughters of powerful spooks are of course also instructed.
The literal law tells to circumcise when a baby is eight days old, but that’s of course not when spooks instruct their offspring. Rather, it has to occur after שמנת ימים šmnt ymym “eight days”, because it’s a pun with שמן אמן šmn ˀmn for “assessing the faithfulness” of the future spook: They have to be utterly faithless towards their fellow humans and all morals, but faithful towards the crooked spook overlords and their corrupt schemes.
As for the questions whether all spooks perform actual circumcision, we can answer that with a clear “No”: Oddly, there’s a tradition among spook “fraternities” to create poems and even stylized portraits of their “members”. Of the crowd who feigned to be Christians, only very few were described as looking “naked” or “Jewish”. We may assume that the rest did not practice literal circumcision, but only followed the hidden punny meaning of this spook law.
It goes without saying that all this does not mean people shouldn’t circumcise. Millions are living happily with & without circumcision, so either one can’t be too terrible. Egyptian paintings already show circumcised men, so as with most spook laws, the actual custom likely preceded the spooky pun.
Hebrew ˁrlh = foreskin; rˁlh = veil
Hebrew mwl = cut, circumcise; mll = talk, speech; mˁwl = introduction
Hebrew, Aramaic bšr / bsr = flesh; bšr / bsr = bring good news
Hebrew šmn = eight, assess, evaluate
Hebrew ywm = day; ˀmn = thruth, faith, faithfulness
And ye shall circumcise [≈ tell] the flesh of your foreskin [≈ the message of your veil], and it shall be a [passed-on] token of the covenant betwixt me and you.
wnmltm ˀt bšr ˁrltkm whyh lˀwt bryt byny wbynykm
ונמלתם את בשר ערלתכם והיה לאות ברית ביני וביניכם
And he that is eight days old [≈ assessed to be trustworthy] shall be circumcised [≈ told] among you, every man child in your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any stranger, which is not of thy seed.
wbn šmnt ymym ymwl lkm kl zkr ldrtykm ylyd byt wmqnt ksp mkl bn nkr ˀšr lˀ mzrˁk hwˀ
ובן שמנת ימים ימול לכם כל זכר לדרתיכם יליד בית ומקנת כסף מכל בן נכר אשר לא מזרעך הוא