Semitic

164 entries · click on a title to read the article

For millennia, Semitic languages have been used as a lingua franca in official & secret empires: The ones I analyze here are Hebrew, Aramaic (Old Aramaic & Syriac), Arabic, Akkadian (Assyrian & Babylonian), and Phoenician. Since all these Semitic languages are very similar in their vocabulary, and the word roots are usually the same, I tag entries simply as “Semitic”.

To understand Semitic puns, please read my introduction to the Semitic languages, and the general introduction to puns.

10 commandments

are reasonable rules, but pun-encrypted spook laws at the same time

12 tribes of Israel

are a set of puns to explain spookery

Adam

puns with “likeness” & “in disguise of”

Al-Qaeda

puns with “the leaders”

Alcazar

is the Spanish-Arabic version of “castro”

Angel

puns with “mockery”

Armstrong

translates into “godseed”, and puns with Israel

Ashkenaz

puns with “hidden lord” or “finance person”

Atlantis

puns with “unnoticed” & “hidden”

Bar Mitzvah

puns with Bar Masveh which means “masked agent”

Baum

puns with “with a veil”

Beaky nose

puns with “Phoenician” & “banker”

Bees

pun with “leaders” and “disguise”

Berakhot interlinear puns

are an introduction to spookery

Berg

puns with burqa meaning “concealed”, “masked”, “background”

Bernstein

puns perhaps with “disguised baron”, or “cloak of disguise”

Blood

puns with “disguise” in Hebrew

Bloomberg

puns with “veiled heritage”

Blossom

puns with Levi in Hebrew and thus with “mockery” & “finance”

Blum

puns with velum & balam vor “veil”

Brick

puns with Levin

COVID-19

can be read as “agitate the people” and “bullshit the multitudes”

Candle

puns with “playing” & “joking”

Carpenter

puns with “feigning to be someone else”

Castro

means “palace”

Claudius

puns with “locked up” & “disappeared” in Semitic

Color red

is adam in Hebrew and puns with “disguise”

Color white

puns with “mockery”

Columbus

puns with kollubos for “exchange”, and collybista for “banker”

Copernicus

means “covered-up wealth”

Dagon

means “fish” & “cloaked”, and wears a fish cloak

David

puns with “beloved”, “hurling”, and “concealed”

Delilah

puns with “weakening” by “tearing off” a veil

Deuteronomy interlinear puns

reveal encoded spooky laws

Donkey

puns with “veil”

Elon Musk

means “masked majesty”

Esther

means “hidden” & “veil”

Eve

puns with “life”, “show”, and “snake”

Evil eye

puns with the dreaded “gaze of one’s own subjects”

Fasces

pun with “possess” & “fiscus”, and with “breaking” & “alotting” in many languages

Foreskin

and cutting its flesh pun with “instructing about the veil”

Friedman

puns with “secret man”

Fuller

puns with “palace”

Galileo Galilei

is Semitic for “revealing the revolving”, which is what he did

Garden Eden

may be a pun with “hidden luxury”

Genesis interlinear puns

show that Genesis is about the genesis of spookery

Gold

puns with “imitation” & “covering”

Greenspan

puns with “hidden power” & “hidden finance”

Halakha

puns with “smoothening” & “improving one’s appearance”

Halloween

puns with “all-hollow event” & “veiled event”

Haman

puns with “the crowds” & “the masses”

Hamsa

protects because it’s a pun with “veiling” & “inventing” from “being found out”

Homer

puns with “veil”

Honey

may have been a synonym for “bee”

Horn

puns with “mockery” & “enacting others” in various languages

Houdini

puns with “leader”

Index finger

puns with “informant” in Latin, and with “fake rebellion” in Semitic

Introduction to Semitic

especially script & grammar

Introduction to punnery

including some admitted examples

Isaac

means “actor”, derived from “playing” & “mockery”

Ishtar

means “privities”, and is therefore nude

Israel

is a multi-pun meaning “masked wealth”, “veiled ruler”, “godseed”

Jacob

means “heel”, but also “supplanting”, “insidious”, “deceitful”, “crooked”

Jacob’s ladder

puns with “secrecy”

Jagiellon

means “highest aristocrat”

Jesuits

pun with “spies”

Jew

means “leader” & “majesty”

Joseph

means “debt” & “forgery”

Joseph’s story

is a recipe on how to use crises to create debt

Katzen

puns with “appointed ruler”

Katzenellenbogen

puns with “high governor in disguise”

Kimball

seems to be the Phoenician name Kim-Baal, which puns with “masked lord”

Koch

puns with “power”!!!

Kohen

means “priest”, “ruler” & “enrichment”, and puns with “fake name”

Komnene

is a pun with “hidden” & “lurking”

Levi

means “moneylender”, and puns with “mocking” & “playing”

Leviticus interlinear puns

reveal encoded spooky laws

Lieutenant colonel

puns with “undercover agent”

Lion

puns with “banking” & other things, depending on the word & language

Livingstone

is a variant of Levi

Loewenstein

is a variant of Levi

Lost passport

of a fake terrorist puns with “fictional identity” & “invented trouble”

Malcolm

puns with “secret governor”

Man

is a translation of Adam whose name also means “disguise”

Maria

is the female form “lady” as in “lord”, and puns with “imitation”

Marx

puns with “capitalist” & “commerce”

Matrilineage

in Judaism is often touted, but really a spook pun with “hidden lineage”

Menorah

Mishnah

puns with “disguise”

Mitsraim

means Egypt, but is spelled like “the slaves”

Mitzvah

puns with “veil” & “mask”

Modern art

really means “muddied” & “dumbed down”

Mordecai

may pun with “legal master” & “feigning innocence”

Morgan

means “hidden leader”

Morris

means “from the top”

Naval Intelligence

puns with “fooling the people”

Nazar amulet

protects because it puns with “veiling oneself”

Nazir

is a multi-pun of an “estranged” “veiled” “overseer”

Nephilim

pun with “distinguished ones” & “obscured ones”, i.e. aristocratic spooks

Newton

translates as “Carthage” in Phoenician

Nixon

puns with “wealth”

Noah

means “leader” & “eminency”, but also “abandoning” the population and “putting it down”

Noah interlinear puns

reveal that leaders sit out manufatured wars in secret hideouts

Noah’s story

is a punny parable about “leaders”, “fame”, “delusion”, and the cursed “truth”

Number 1

puns with “leader”

Number 13

stands for “bad luck”, because it spells out the word “suffering”

Number 2

literally means “duplicate” & “disguise”

Number 33

spells “mockery”, and puns with “government agent”, “fake death”, “tricking the lower classes”

Number 47

puns with “for deceiving” in English

Number 6

puns with “opposition” & “Satan”

Number 666

spells “beast” & “confusion” in Greek, and synonyms for “Satan” in Hebrew

Number 911

seems to spell out “bullshit!” and “absolutely no people”

Numbers 1 & 8

spell out “show!”, and pun with “an act” & “completely enacted”

Osama bin Laden

puns with “produced violence”

Ostrich hiding its head

is a pun with “hide-head” and “hidden leader”

Pegasus

puns with “winged horse”, but also “coaxing by flattery” — in Semitic!

Pegida

puns with “deceit”

Philistines

puns with “investigation” & “detection”

Phoenician

may be derived from “turners of wealth”, and puns with “finance” & “fraud”

Phoenix

puns with “double-neck”, “curved-beak”, “returned-life”

Pig

prohibition puns with “don’t reveal fraud” and “don’t trust the repentant”!

Prows with horse-heads on Phoenician ships

may be puns with the word “Phoenician”

Punny names of Phoenician gods

all have nasty hidden meanings

Purim

is about masking & cloaking, and puns with “masking” & “cloaking”

Rabbi

is the same word as “master”, “lord”, “nobleman”, “usurer”

Rasputin

puns with “hoax” — and the history woven around him was just such a hoax!

Rice

puns with “head” & “boss”

Roosevelt

puns with “veiled leader” & “born leader”

Rose

puns with “head”, “boss”, “baron”, “prince”

Rosen

puns with Semitic rozen meaning “ruler”

Rosh Hashanah

means “start of the year”, but also “disguised leader”

Rubinstein

puns with “disguised lord”

Sachs

puns with “nobility” & “character in a play”

Sagan

means “installed deputy governor”

Samson

can be read as “masked power”, “veiled one”, “locks of disguise”

Samson’s riddle

has the solution “hidden leaders”, written like “lion & bee”

Samson’s story

is a parable about “strength” through “veiling”

Satan

means “enemy”, and is a multi-pun of all words written S-T-N

Seinfeld

puns with “veiled appearance”

Sepharad

means “separated”, “veiled”, “deceiver” and “moneychanger”

Shakira

puns with “liar” & “fraud”

Shalom

puns with “secrecy”

Shapiro

means “nobility”

Shoes

pun with English “show”, with Hebrew “disguise”, and appear on fake event photos

Simeon

puns with “playing” & “joking”

Skull & bones

pun with “hidden leader”

Springer

is a translation of “Phoenician”

Star as “veil”

is a pun of the word star with the word for “veil”

Stein

puns with “disguised”

Taliban

means “students”, but also “mockers”

Talmud

puns with “deception”

Tanit

is a tiny figurine and also a carnivore, because she puns with all her symbols

Teacher

is in Hebrew the same word as “lord” & “usurer”: rabbi

Tower of Babel

is a spook parable on why hidden rulers confuse their subjects

Tree of Knowledge

puns with “desire & sex” and “impression & appearance”

Tree of Life

puns with “tree of families”, and “wrapped inside a show”

Unicorn

tamed by a virgin is a smutty pun with “piercing” & “penis”

Vashti

puns with “exposed” & “disgraced”

Walker

is a synonym for “fuller”

Wallenstein

puns with “veiled” & “disguised”

Wine

puns with “veil”

Wolf

puns with “liar” in Hebrew, “veiling” in Latin, “shell” in Greek

Yom Kippur

means “day of atonement”, but also “covered people”

Zucker

puns with “liar” & “fraud”