Caesar’s assassination

🏷  Latin interlinear recommended · text   —   by Gerry · Apr 2022 · 7334 words

The written history of Caesar’s assassination, by Suetonius, appears to be yet another pun-encrypted story. Amazingly, it seems to tell the actual story of the assassination, i.e. how the ancient spooks prepared and enacted the hoax!


Miles has already written an excellent article about Julius Caesar. He does a very good job of exposing the public image of Caesar as the usual self-contradictory lies. Like pretty much all famous rulers, Caesar was simply a silly, lazy boy from an ultra-rich family, with an unearned career straight to the top as a birth privilege.

Miles also points out several contradictions in the story, which prove that Caesar’s famous assassination must be fake:

Miles left out my favorite contradiction: Powerful people don’t do things themselves! Not only is it dangerous for them to personally attack anyone. But as palace-bred imbeciles, they’re the least competent persons to carry through any physical operation. If real rulers wanted to kill anyone, especially a peer, they’d use their insane wealth to employ teams of professional assassins. Since in Ceasar’s story, the other aristocrats attack & kill him themselves, it must be made-up nonsense!

Miles even detected a pun in the translation, which still works in English: A soothsayer called Spurinna allegedly warned Caesar about his assassination. That name puns with “spurious”, i.e. fake. I therefore decided to look at the Latin text, to find more of these puns.

English-speaking readers will be familiar with many Latin loanwords, and may have an easier time to form their own opinion here. As a heavily inflected language, Latin seems to have its own punny rules: Encryption words still have to be similar consonant-wise, but often they are only similar in some inflections. It may be the inflections used in the text, but not always. Often, the decrypted sentence is then grammatically wrong.

Content-wise, I also found that Roman histories may be different than the Biblical texts I decrypted before. There, readers were often disappointed & disinterested in the results. They’d expected the secret story to reveal “what really happened”. Instead, it was usually a parable, about a completely different topic. But some Roman texts, judging from this snippet, seem to describe actual people & events. Probably not very truthful, but apparently they do reveal “what really happened”, i.e. that everything was made-up, faked & staged!

Of course, we mustn’t let down our guard. I wouldn’t believe for a second that what the ancient spooks wrote into their encrypted texts is always the truth. All they ever told us is lies. Much of what they say to each other behind the scenes may also be lies. Still, from today’s fake events we can see that this text may be close to the truth, about ancient spookery.

How to read the interlinear puns

Preludes to the event

Suetonius claims that Caesar’s assassination was foretold by several omens

All of them seem to be puns with preparations for the fake event by the ancient spooks.

Divus Julius 81.a

Butsed but Sed    sed but Butof Caesar’sCaesar Caesar Caesari    Caesar Caesar of Caesar’sfuturefuturus future futura    futurus future futurecutting down,caedo / caedes / caesurus cut, cut down caedes    caedo / caedes / caesurus cut, cut down cutting down,realisticevidenter vividly, giving realistic impression euidentibus    evidenter evidently, manifestly evidentcover-upspertego / pertegam / pertegis cover all over prodigiis    prodigium / prodigiis prodigy, sign, omen omenscommandeddenuntio denounce, declare, command denuntiata    denuntio denounce, declare, command declaredhad been.sum / est be est    sum / est be had been.

Divus Julius 81.a

Newly found artifacts

In this first omen, colonists in “Capua” “find” the tomb of “Capys”, plus vessels with a bronze tablet foretelling that his descendant would be killed by the “hand of blood-relatives”.

Capua puns with capa “cape”, capsa “capsule”, capio “cheating”. In fact, these words all seem related, derived from “holding”. Capys is probably again a pun with capsis “capsules”.

Since the words for “finding” and “inventing” are similar in Latin and other languages, it may be that the text really describes how the ancient spooks “invented” some theatrical prop in preparation for the fake assassination. If it involves actual “vessels” and a “bronze tablet”, it may be that they filled up tiny vessels or capsules beneath the victim’s clothing with red paint, and provided a bronze plate as protection. A fake attack could then cut the vessels, produce the “blood”, and the fake victim would be protected by the plate.

The other puns support this, and it’s actually used later in the story, so the use of moulage in fake events may be a very ancient trick.

Divus Julius 81.b

A fewpaucus few paucos    paucus few A fewbeforeante before ante    ante before beforemonths,mensis month menses    mensis month months,whencum with, when cum    cum with, when wheninin in in    in in inartificialcalumnia trickery, artifice, sham, pretenses colonia    colonia colony the colonycloakings / deceptionscapa cape, cloak capio cheat, deceive Capua    Capua Capua Capuawere broughtdeduco lead away, bring out deducti    deduco lead away, bring out were broughtto gatherlego gather, collect lege    lego gather, collect to gatherthe mockilludo / illusus / illusi mock, ridicule Iulia    Iulius Julius the Julianpretenders,calumnia trickery, artifice, sham, pretenses coloni    colonus / coloni colonist colonists,[in order] toad to ad    ad to [in order] tobuild upexstruo build, construct extruendas    exstruo build, construct buildveils,velum / vela veil, curtain, covering uillas    villa / villum villa, farm villas,[some] coveringvestis veil, curtain, covering uetustissima    vetustus aged, old [some] ancientsupplies / tricks [???]suppleo supply sublino / sublevi befool, cheat -crum (diminutive suffix) sepulcra    sepulcrum sepulchre, tomb sepelio bury -crum (diminutive suffix) tombs[they] designed,designo design, plan, scheme dissicerent    disseco dissect, open by force [they] broke apart,and they [?]is he, it -que and idque    is he, it -que and and they [?][were] thereeo there eo    eo there [were] thereeagerstudiosus studious, eager, fond studiosius    studiosus studious, eager, fond eagerbuilding [them],facio do, make, build facerent    facio do, make, build doing [it],asquod because, which quod    quod because, which assomealiquantum some aliquantum    aliquantum some somesmall vessels [??]vasculum small vessel uasculorum    vasculum small vessel small vessels[were] filled / coveredoperio / operis cover oppleo / oppleris fill up, cover operis    opus / operis work, labor workedbefore thatante before qui that antiqui    antiquus / antiqui ancient [and] ancientin secretsecretus secret secreto secretly scruta trumpery scrutantes    scrutor scrutinize, search, examine [they] examinedwith red [paint?]ruber red, painted red reperiebant    reperio find, find out, invent, meet with [and] found,[and] a boardtabula tablet, board, document tabula    tabula tablet, board, document [and] a tabletof bronzeaeneus copper, bronze aenea    aeneus copper, bronze of bronzeforin in, into, on, for in    in in, into, on, for insideprotection,munimentum / munimento protection monimento    monimentum / monimento monument a monument,onin in, into, on, for in    in in, into, on, for inwhichqui / quo which quo    qui / quo which whichdeceptively [??]decipio / decipietur deceive, beguile dicebatur    dico / dicebatur say, speak was saidthe satchels / capsulescapsa / capsis box, case, satchel Capys    Capys Capys Capysconstructedcondo / conditur build, construct conditor    conditor builder, founder the founder[as a] container / deception [??]capio contain, cheat, deceive Capuae    Capua Capua of Capua[were] supplied [?],suppleo / suppletus supply, supplement sublino / sublitus befool, cheat sepultus    sepelio / sepultus bury [to be] buried,was invented,inventio / inventa invention, plan inuenta    invenio / inventa find was found,and it wasest is est    est is and it waswritten / drawn up / described [?]describo / descripta describe, write down conscripta    conscribo / conscripta write down, draw up, compose writtenin letterslittera / litteris letter litteris    littera / litteris letter in lettersand wordsverbum / verbis word uerbisque    verbum / verbis word and words[by] the company / crew [???]grex / gregis company, crew Graecis    Graecus / Graecis Greek in Greekthushac here, so, thus hac    hac here, so, thus thus[for] this purpose:sententia will, purpose sententia    sententia sentence, judgement, will the sentence:Whenquandoque whenever quandoque    quandoque whenever Whenusedutor / usus / usu use ossa    ossum / ossa / osso bone the bonesthe bags / satchels [??]capsa / capsis box, case, satchel Capyis    Capys Capys of Capysto be uncovered / exposeddetego / detecta unsheathe, remove detecta    detego / detecta detect, uncover, expose, reveal uncoveredare,essent are essent    essent are are,will besum / fore be, will be fore    sum / fore be, will be will bethatut as, that ut    ut as, that thatheille that, he illo    ille that, he his[who] is familiar with [it]pro before gnosco / gnotus know, learn, familar prognatus    prognatus born, descended pro before gnatus child descendant[can] shed / flow / pour forthmano / mana shed, flow, pour forth manu    manus / manu hand [by] the handwith bloodcon- with sanguineus of blood consanguineorum    consanguineus same blood, related by blood [of his] blood-relatives[in] trickerynugor / nugaretur jest, trick, cheat necaretur    neco / necaretur kill, murder will be killedpowerfully,magnus powerful, extensive, strong magnisque    magnus great and very / greatly [??][and] thenmox soon, directly, then mox    mox soon, directly, then soon[it is] usefule / helpfulutilis / utilia useful, helpful utilitas utility Italiae    Italia Italy [in] Italy[so that] calamity / mischiefclades / cladibus mischief cladibus    clades / cladibus calamity, disaster disasters[is] claimed / vindicated.vindico claim, assume, protect uindicaretur    vindico vindicate, punish, avenge will avenge [him].

Divus Julius 81.b

Not invented by (just) anybody

Here they say that these things were not invented by anybody.

The joke seems to be that it was not just anybody, but top-level ancient spooks: The auctor “author” of this fake event was actually a professional actor “actor”!

Divus Julius 81.c

[And] thesecuius who, what, which cuius    cuius who, what, which [And] theseobjects / things / storiesres / rei thing, object, story rei    res / rei matter, affair affairs[are] notne not ne    ne not [are] not[what just] anybodyquis someone, anyone quis    quis someone, anyone [what] somebodyplay-enactedfabula story, play fabulosam    fabulosus fabulous fabled uporaut or aut    aut or orinvented,commenticius thought out, fabricated, invented commenticiam    commenticius thought out, fabricated, invented invented[but professionally] arrangedputo / putet arrange, settle putet    puto / putet suspect, consider, suppose [to be] suspected,by a theatrical actoractor actor, performer in theatrical play auctor    auctor author, originator [but] the originator[who] wasest is est    est is wasCorneliusCornelius Cornelius Cornelius    Cornelius Cornelius CorneliusBalbus,Balbus Balbus Balbus    Balbus Balbus Balbus,an intimate [friend]familiaris of a house, private familiarissimus    familiaris of a house, private an intimate [friend]of Caesar.Caesar Caesar Caesaris    Caesar Caesar of Caesar.

Divus Julius 81.c

The flocks roaming about

In this paragraph, Caesar’s “horses” who had “crossed” the “Rubicon” start to “weep”.

The encrypted story seems to be about crisis actors rehearsing with Caesar: equorum “horses” puns with aeqorum “equal”. traiciendo “crossing” puns with tricando “playing tricks”. And flere “weeping” puns with fallere “tricking”. So it seems the spooks were rehearsing their theatrical tricks. The pun of pertinacissimus pabulo “persevering [to refuse] food” may be with praetens-issimus popello “pretended common people”, i.e. crisis actors playing “the crowd”. The “Rubicon” could again stand for red paint, but the word that best fits the context is urbaniciani “urban”, i.e. the crisis actors pretending to be urban citizens.

The diviner Spurinna appears as a pun with spurius “spurious”, already decrypted by Miles. Her divination about the Martias Idus “middle of the month March” seems to be a pun with mortis idos “appearing to be dead”, i.e. Ceasar’s acting. The periculum “trial” that the diviner warns him about, may stand for an actual “trial” or “test”, i.e. his rehearsal.

Note how the literal story aimlessly jumps from horses, to divination, to birds. But the pun-encrypted story fits together seamlessly: The crisis actors rehearse together with Caesar and applaud him!

Divus Julius 81.d

The nextproximus nearest, next proximis    proximus nearest, next The nextday,dies / diebus day diebus    dies / diebus day day,[people] like / equal toaequus / aequorum equal, like equorum    equus / equorum horse the horsesa crowdgrex crowd, group of people, troupe of actors greges    grex flock, swarm [of] the flock [herd?],whichqui who, which quos    qui who, which whichwhilein in in    in in whileplaying as a tricktrico / tricando play tricks traiciendo    traicio / traiciendo cause to go across crossingto be urban [???]urbicus / urbicorum city, civic urbanicianus / urbaniciani city-garrisoned Rubiconi    Rubicon Rubicon robus red rufus red rufesco redden the Rubiconservants / subjects [?]famulus / famuli servant, slave, subject flumini    flumen / flumini river riverin jest [???]con- with scurra jester, joker, clown consecrarat    consecro consecrate, set apart he had consecrated,andac and ac    ac and and[who were] roaming aboutvagus roaming, vagrant uagos    vagus roaming, vagrant [who were] roaming aboutandet and et    et and andwithoutsine without sine    sine without withouthaving been seencustodio guard, watch, observe custode    custodio guard, watch, observe being overseen[had been] send out,dimitto send out, scatter dimiserat    dimitto send out, scatter [had been] send out,[they] appearedcompareo visible, appear comperit    comperio find out [they were] found out[while] pretending [to be]praetendo / praetensus pretend -issimus (superlative) pertinacissime    pertinacissimus persevering pertendo persevere [to have] tenaciouslycommon people,populus / populo people popellus / popello common people pabulo    pabulum / pabulo food, fodder the food[and in] show / pretenceobtineo show obtentus pretence, veil abstinere    abstineo abstain, keep off refused,verbatimverbatim verbatim, word for word ubertimque    ubertim abundantly [and] abundantly[enacted] the deception.fallo / fallere deceive, trick flere    fleo / flere weep, cry wept & cried.Andet and et    et and And[when] emulating,aemulo emulate, imitate immolantem    immolo immolate, sacrifice [when he was??] sacrificing,the sight [was] horrifichorreo dread, frightful specio / spex look at, see haruspex    haruspex diviner hira gut specio / spex look at, see the soothsayer[yet] spurious,spurius / spurio spurious, false Spurinna    Spurinna Spurinna Spurinna[he?] was painted red [??]minio paint red, colored red monuit    moneo admonish, advise, warn warned him[and] lied downcubo / cubaret lie down caueret    caveo / caveret take care, beware, avoid to beware[in] a trial / attemptpericulum experiment, trial, attempt periculum    periculum peril, danger of a peril,whichqui who, which quod    qui who, which which[would] notnon not non    non not [would] notbe over [until]ultra past, over ultra    ultra past, over be over [until]of deathmortis death Martias    Martius of Mars [of] the month Marchthe appearanceidos form, shape, appearance Idus    idus ides, middle of month the middle[was] shown / presented.profero produce, appear, present, show oneself proferretur    profero bring out, bring forth had come.The day beforepridie day before pridie    pridie day before [On] the day beforealso,autem also autem    autem also also,the same [people?]idem the same easdem    idem the same [on] the same [day?]in [his] form / appearanceidos form, shape, appearance Idus    idus ides, middle of month in the middle of the month,applaudedovo / ovem rejoice, applaud auem    avis / avem bird a birdthe rulerregalis royal regulus ruler regaliolum    regaliolus wren, (small bird) wrenatcum with cum    cum with with[his] ghostlylarvalis ghostly laureo    laureus of laurel a laurelmischivous deed [??],res / re deed, affair malus mischievous ramulo    ramulus twig, sprig twig[when?] pompously [?]pomposus pompous pompaticus showy Pompeianae    Pompeius Pompey into the Pompeianand elaborately [?]curiosus elaborate, complicated curiae    curia court courthe himselfse himself, itself se    se himself, itself itselfinflicted [it],infero cause, inflict inferentem    infero bring in came in,and vulgar [people]vulgaris common, vulgar uolucres    volucris bird [and other] birdsof variousvarius various uarii    varius various of variousstocksgens people generis    genus race, type sortsout ofex out of ex    ex out of out ofthe nearestproximus nearest proximo    proximus nearest the nearestpopulationnumerosus populous, of many people nemore    nemus / nemore grove, glade grovewere imitatedpersequor imitate persecutae    persequor follow, pursue persued[by] the sameibidem in that place ibidem    ibidem in that place the sameplan / description.descriptio plan, description discerpserunt    discerpo rend, mangle, mutilate [and] mutilated [it].

Divus Julius 81.d

The night before

Here, Caesar has a dream of himself “flying” in the “clouds”. nubes “clouds” puns with nubes “veiling”, and volitare “flying” puns with velator “veil”. So he probably veils himself with a veil. Perhaps it’s a literal veil, i.e. he pratices lying beneath a shroud, pretending to be dead. The other words support this.

Then his wife imagines he fell from the top of their “marital” house, and him being “stabbed”. maritum “marital” puns with mortium “mortal”, and confodio “stabbing” puns with confundo “confounding”. So Caesar may have practiced the trick on his wife, who really imagined he was dead. I don’t quite believe this one though: Partners of spooks should know after some time that their spouses are up to mischief every day.

Divus Julius 81.e

Thatis / ea he, she, it ea    is / ea he, she, it Thatveryverus actual, right uero    verus actual, right verynight,nox / nocte night nocte    nox / nocte night night,whichcui who, which cui    cui who, which whichdawnedinlucesco begin to dawn inluxit    inlucesco begin to dawn dawned[to] the daydies day dies    dies day [to] the day[when he was] to be felledcaedo cut, hew, fell caedis    caedo cut, hew, fell [when he was] to be felledalsoet and et    et and alsojust heipse just, himself ipse    ipse just, himself heto himselfsui / sibi of himself sibi    sui / sibi of himself to himselfmade [such] an appearance,video / visus be seen, appear uisus    video / visus see, perceive was seen,[it] wassum / est be est    sum / est be beingbyper through, by per    per through, by by[lying] quietlyquies quiet, calm, keeping still quietem    quies quiet, calm, keeping still quietlyfor some timeinterdum for some time interdum    interdum for some time for some time[having] above [him?]supra above, over supra    supra above, over abovea veilnubo / nubes cover, veil nubes    nubes cloud, concealment the cloudsveiling [him].velo / velato / velator veil vallo / vallito / vallator surround uolitare    volito / volitare fly about flying,[And in] another [night]alius / alias another, other, different alias    alius / alias another, other, different [and in] another [night]whencum when cum    cum when thatby assistantsiuvo / iuves help, assist Ioue    Iovis Jupiter [with] Jupiterskillfuldexter skillful, proper dextram    dexter right, right hand [at] the right hand[he was] joined.iungo join, unite iungere    iungo join, unite [he was] joined.And [even]et and et    et and AndCalpurniaCalpurnia Calpurnia Calpurnia    Calpurnia Calpurnia Calpurnia[his] wifeuxor wife, consort uxor    uxor wife, consort [his] wifeimaginedimaginatus imagine imaginata    imaginatus imagine had imagined[that he] had [really]sum / est be est    sum / est be [that there] wasfallen down [??]collabor / conlabi collapse, fall in conlabi    collabor / conlabi collapse, fall in falling down[from] the topfastigium top, gable, sharp point fastigium    fastigium top, gable, sharp point the topof the housedomus house domus    domus house of the house[to his] death,mors / mortium death, corpse maritumque    maritus / maritum marital of her marriage,[and even] inin in, into, for in    in in, into, for [and] in[her] lapgremium lap, bosom, female genital parts gremio    gremium lap, bosom, female genital parts [her] lap[having] hersuus / suo his, her, its suo    suus / suo his, her, its heconfoundedconfundo confound, confuse confodi    confodio damage, stab, pierce was [lying] stabbed,[by]ac and ac    ac and andassuming a form [of death?]subeo / subito enter stealthily, come secretly, assume a form subito    subeo / subito enter, suddenly suddenlyin the bedchambercubiculum bedchamber cubiculi    cubiculum bedchamber in the bedchamberat the doorsforis door, gate fores    foris door, gate the doorsspontaneouslysponte willingly, spontaneously sponte    sponte willingly, spontaneously on their own will[he] could.possum / potes / potui can, able patuerunt    pateo / pates / patui open opened.

Divus Julius 81.e

No delay allowed

This paragraph works even without punnery: Caesar ponders to delay the event, but Brutus convinces him not to. The only necessary pun is of propono “propose [before the senate]” with propono “display [before the senate]”. It’s actually the same word in another meaning.

Divus Julius 81.f

Untoob to Ob    ob to Unto[all] thishic / haec here haec    hic / haec here [all] thistogether,simul same time, simultaneous simul    simul same time, simultaneous together,andet and et    et and anduntoob to ob    ob to unto[his] infirminfirmus infirm, weak infirmam    infirmus infirm, weak [his] infirmhealth,valetudo habit, state of body, health ualitudinem    valetudo habit, state of body, health health,for a whilediu a while diu    diu a while for a while[he] was in doubtcunctor / cunctatus delay, hesitate, doubt cunctatus    cunctor / cunctatus delay, hesitate, doubt [he] was in doubtwhetheran or whether an    an or whether whether[he should] himselfse himself se    se himself [he should] himselfkeep safe,contineo contain, hold, keep safe, enclose contineret    contineo contain, hold, keep safe, enclose keep safe,andet and et    et and and[for] that whichqui / quae who, which, what quae    qui / quae who, which, what [for] that whichbeforeapud among, before apud    apud among, before beforethe senatesenatus senate senatum    senatus senate the senatehe would displaypropono / proposuerat expose to view, represent, display proposuerat    propono / proposuerat propose he would proposemakeago / agere do, make, act agere    ago / agere do, make, act makea deferral.differo defer, separate differret    differo defer, separate a deferral.[But] finally,tandem finally tandem    tandem finally [But] finally,DecimusDecimus Decimus Decimo    Decimus Decimus DecimusBrutusBrutus Brutus Bruto    Brutus Brutus Brutusencouraged [him]adhortor stimulate, encourage adhortante    adhortor stimulate, encourage encouraged [him]notne not ne    ne not notthe many people [??]frequens frequent, crowded, populous frequentis    frequens frequent, crowded, populous the crowded [??]andac and ac    ac and andnowiam already, now, soon iam    iam already, now, soon nowfor a timedudum short time ago dudum    dudum short time ago for a timeworking / operation [??]operatio operation, activity opertus covered opperientis    opperior wait, await waiting [senate?]to disappoint.destituo leave, disappoint destitueret    destituo leave, disappoint to disappoint.

Divus Julius 81.f

A leaflet in his hand

This paragraph also works with very little punnery: Someone hands Caesar a leaflet describing the “plot”, but he just puts it together with other documents, to read it later. The surface story is strange: Who would do this, and how would the author even know? But it may have been a leaflet describing the “plot of the theatrical play” he was about to perform. He holds it with other papers to conceal it.

The spretus “separated [entrails]” may hint at “separating off” the senate, so that no commoners could disturb the spooks. Such separations, with spookling bouncers and the like, are still used today.

Spurinna appears again as a pun with spurius “spurious”, as does the Martias Idus, with mortis idos “appearing to be dead”.

Divus Julius 81.g

[So at] fivequintus fifth quinta    quintus fifth [So at] fivenearlyfere nearly fere    fere nearly nearlyat the hourhora hour hora    hora hour at the hour[he] proceededprogressus progress, proceed progressus    progressus progress, proceed [he] proceededbeing [having]est is est    est is being [having]a leafletlibellus little book, leaflet, petition libellumque    libellus little book, leaflet, petition a leafletof the deception / artificeinsidiosus cunning, deceitful insidiarum    insidia / insidiae artifice, ambush, plot of the plotbeing given in brief hints,indico point out, declare, give hint, state briefly indicem    indico point out, reveal, uncover being revealed,fromab from, by ab    ab from, by bypreventingobvio prevent obuio    obvio meet having metsomeone [on the way]quidam someone quodam    quidam someone someone [on the way]piercing / disturbing [it all]perago pierce, harass, disturb porrectum    porrigo spread out, offer [who] offered [it],[with] the leafletslibellus little book, leaflet, petition libellis    libellus little book, leaflet, petition [with] the leafletsothersceterus the other, rest ceteris    ceterus the other, rest otherswhich [he had]qui / quos which quos    qui / quos which which [he had]in his leftsinister left sinistra    sinister left in his lefthandmanus hand manu    manus hand handhe held [it]teneo hold, possess tenebat    teneo hold, possess he held [it]as ifquasi as if, like quasi    quasi as if, like as ifsoonmox soon mox    mox soon soonhe would read [them]lecturus read, recite lecturus    lecturus read, recite he would read [them]combined.commisceo join, combine commiscuit    commisceo join, combine combined.Thendeinde then, next dein    deinde then, next Thenmoreplus / pluribus more pluribus    plus / pluribus more moretricksastus / astui craft, guile, tricks astutia / astutiis cunning trick hostiis    hostia / hostiis sacrifice sacrificeswere used together [?]co- together usus use caesis    caesus cut, felled were cut openatcum with, at cum    cum when whenthe sides,latus / latera side, flank lateralis lateral litare    lito / litare make an offering, obtain omen obtaining omens,[so] nonenon not non    non not [but] nonewas ablepossum / posset can, able posset    possum / posset can, able [said he] couldto enterintroeo enter introiit    introeo enter enterthe [senate] courtcuria / curiam court, senate curiam    curia / curiam court, senate the [senate] court[which] was separatedsperno / spretus separate, reject, scorn spreta    sperno / spretus sever [in] the severed [entrails?]scrupulously.religiosus scrupulous religione    religiosus religious, sacred sacred.[For] the falsespurio spurious, false Spurinnamque    Spurinna Spurinna Spurinnamockery,irrideo laugh at, mock irridens    irrideo laugh at, mock [he] laughed at,andet and et    et and andbecause [of]ut as, like, that, because, although ut    ut as, like, that, because, although at thatthe falsefalsum falsehood, deceit, lie falsum    falsum falsehood, deceit, lie of lyingshow,arguo declare, show, accuse, blame arguens    arguo declare, show, accuse, blame accused [her?],becausequod which, because quod    quod which, because because[even] withoutsine without sine    sine without withoutanyullus any ulla    ullus any any[of] itssua hers sua    sua hers [of] herharmful [events],noxa hurt, harm noxa    noxa hurt, harm harmful [events]the appearanceidos form, shape, appearance Idus    idus ides, middle of month the Idesof deathmortis death Martiae    Martius of Mars of Mars[would still?] be present.adsum / adesse present adessent    adsum / adesse present was present.Althoughquamquam although quanquam    quamquam although But[of] itis he, she, it is    is he, she, it [of] it[there could still] comevenio / venisse come uenisse    venio / venisse come [there would still] comesomeonequidam someone, something quidem    quidam someone, something somethinggoing [in?]eo / eas go, proceed, follow eas    eo / eas go, proceed, follow following[it was] said,dice / diceret say diceret    dice / diceret say [she] said,butsed but sed    sed but butnot [yet]non not non    non not not [yet][had anything] been seen.pareo / pareto / paretur appear, visible, apparent, be seen praeterisse    praetereo go by, omit, pass, miss [has it] passed.

Divus Julius 81.g

Assuming one’s part

Here, Tillius Cimber is said to be the first to partes susceperat “assume his part” in the assassination. But that expression also means to “assume a part” in a theatrical play. He also “gestures” to Caesar beforehand, which is absolutely not what an assassin would do. But a fellow actor in a staged play would!

Divus Julius 82.a

[As he] sat down,assideo sit down before assidentem    assideo sit down before [As he] sat down,the spurners [mockers??]con- with sperno / spretus / spreti spurn, scorn conspirati    conspiratus conspiring, agreement, harmony the conspirators[for] the viewspecies sight, look, view, appearance specie    species sight, look, view, appearance [in] appearanceto block / impedeofficio / offici obstruct, hinder, block officii    officium / officii service, favor, courtesy of a courtesy [greetings]stood around [him].circumsto stand around circumsteterunt    circumsto stand around stood around [him].Thenilico there ilicoque    ilico there ThenCimberCimber Cimber Cimber    Cimber Cimber CimberTilliusTillius Tillius Tillius    Tillius Tillius Tillius,whoqui who qui    qui who whofirstprimas first primas    primas first first[his] theatrical rolepars / partes character in theater partes    pars / partes part, piece [his] partassumed,suscipio assume susceptor entertainer susceperat    suscipio take up assumed,as ifquasi as if, like quasi    quasi as if, like as if[he had] somethingaliquis something aliquid    aliquis something [he had] somethingto quarrel about,rixor / rixatus quarrel, brawl rogaturus    rogo / rogaturus interrogate, ask to ask,nearerpropior / propius nearer propius    propior / propius nearer nearerapproached [him].accedo / accessit go toward, approach accessit    accedo / accessit go toward, approach approached [him].[He] announced [it]renuntio renounce, announce, report renuentique    renuens / renuenti refusing, declining [But he] declinedandet and et    et and andgestured [him]gestus / gestum gesture gestum    gestus / gestum gesture gestured [to him][to] inin in in    in in [to ask] atmockeryalludo jest, mocking allusion illudo mock aliud    alius / aliud another, else some otherattempt [??]tempto test, try adtempto attempt, try tempus    tempus time, occasion timethe distraction / confounding [??].differo confound, distract differenti    differo differ, different different.

Divus Julius 82.a

Only an appearance

After having “gestured” to Caesar, Tillius now seizes him at both shoulders. This is also ridiculous: Real assassins would try to stab their victim unnoticed from behind, and then leave. No one interferes, because as in all fake assassinations, the world’s richest people have no bodyguard, and government buildings are also unguarded.

Caesar then exclaims: quidem vis est “this is an assault”, which puns with quidem visus est “this is [only] an appearance”! The vulnerat “wounding” afterwards may be a pun with velarat “veiling” / “covering”, so that Caesar can use the theatrical props.

Divus Julius 82.b

Onab from ab    ab from Onboth [sides]uterque / utroque both utroque    uterque / utroque both both [sides][of] the shouldersumerus upper arm, shoulder umero    umerus upper arm, shoulder [of] the shoulders[by] the togatoga toga togam    toga toga [by] the toga[he] seized [him].apprehendo / apprehendit seize, apprehend adprehendit    apprehendo / apprehendit seize, apprehend [he] seized [him].Thendeinde then, next deinde    deinde then, next Then[he] called out:clamo call clamantem    clamo call [he] called out:Thisiste / ista that, he ista    iste / ista that, he Thisin factquidem indeed, in fact quidem    quidem indeed, in fact in fact[only] an appearancevideo / visus / visu see, be seen, seem, appear uis    vis strength, violence, assault an assaultis!sum / est be est!'   !sum / est be is!Onealter one, another alter    alter one, another Oneofex / e out of e    ex / e out of of[the] Casca [family]Casca Casca Cascis    Casca Casca [the] Casca [family][from] the other side [?]aversus / aversum averse, facing away, rear auersum    aversus / aversum averse, facing away, rear [from] the other side [?]covered [him]velo / velarat veil, conceal, cover uulnerat    vulnero / vulnerat wound, injure, hurt wounded [him]a littlepaulus / paulum little paulum    paulus / paulum little a littleunderinfra below infra    infra below under[another] angle [??].angulus / angulum angle, out-of-the-way spot iugulum    iugulum collarbone the collarbone.

Divus Julius 82.b

Stabbing with the stylus

Caesar stabs an attacker in the arm with his stylus. This seems to be the only moment of toughness & defense the author has granted him here.

If the stabbing with the stylus is not a pun, then this may be how the bags filled with red paint are used, which were introduced before: You puncture them with a sharp object, and the red paint will leak out!

The only word I found that’s somewhat close to brachium “arm” and means “bag” is pera. You could add the suffix -cum or -culum to get the C.

The rest fits very well: prosilio means “leaping forward”, but also “gushing forward”, like fake blood.

Divus Julius 82.c

[Then] CaesarCaesar Caesar Caesar    Caesar Caesar [Then] Caesara hiddencaecus / caecis / caeca hidden, secret, concealed Cascae    Casca Casca [of] Cascabag / satchel / wallet [???]pera bag, satchel -cum (suffix) perula little wallet peracula little bag brachium    brachium lower arm, forearm the forearmseizedarreptus seized, arrested arreptum    arreptus seized, arrested seized[and with his] graphic stylusgraphium stylus, pen graphio    graphium stylus, pen [and with his] graphic stylusstabbed [it].traicio stab, pierce traiecit    traicio stab, pierce stabbed [it].Similarconnatus twin, similar, alike conatusque    conatus attempt, effort In an effortto gushing outprosilio gush out prosilire    prosilio leap, rush, jump to leap [away]playing / mockingalludo / allusi jest, mocking allusion alio    alius / aliud / alio another, different [by] anothera woundingvulnero wound, injure, hurt uulnere    vulnero wound, injure, hurt woundingdeliberately [??]tardus slow, measured, deliberate tardatus    tardo retard, hinder hindered[it] was.sum / est be est    sum / est be [he] was.

Divus Julius 82.c

Going down in style

Caesar covers his nether regions with his toga before he falls down to die. Is this what a real conqueror would do in his last moment?

Very little punnery is needed here, as the paragraph already reads like a staged play. Only the strictis pugionibus peti “tightly with daggers attacked” would be a pun with strictim pingebas pateo “superficially painted extensively” (grammar may be wrong).

Divus Julius 82.d

As [he]ut as, how utque    ut as, how As [he]noticed [that]animadverto attend, notice animaduertit    animadverto attend, notice noticed [that]from all sidesundique from all sides, completely undique    undique from all sides, completely from all sideshimselfse himself se    se himself himselfsuperficiallystrictim superficially, cursorily strictis    strictus / strictis tight, close tightlywas painted / coloredpingo / pingebas paint, color, deceptive -es / -ibus (suffix) pugionibus    pugio / pugionibus dagger [was with] daggersextensively,pateo / pate open, extend peti    peto seek, aim at, attack aimed for,[with his] togatoga toga toga    toga toga [with his] toga[his] headcaput head caput    caput head [his] headhe covered,obvolvo wrap around, cover all over obuoluit    obvolvo wrap around, cover all over he covered,simutaneouslysimul simultaneously simul    simul simultaneously simutaneously[with his] leftsinister left sinistra    sinister left [with his] lefthandmanus hand manu    manus hand handthe folds [of his toga]sinus / sinum fold, garment, hanging toga sinum    sinus / sinum fold, garment, hanging toga the folds [of his toga]toad to ad    ad to tohis lowerimus lowest ima    imus lowest his lowerlegscrus / crura leg crura    crus / crura leg legshe drew,deduco draw out, draw down deduxit    deduco draw out, draw down he drew,so thatquo so that quo    quo so that so thatmore handsomelyhonestus decent, handsome honestius    honestior / honestius honorable more honorable[he would] fallcado fall caderet    cado fall [he would] fall[with] stilletiam yet, still etiam    etiam yet, still [with] still[his] lowerinfero produce, carry in, throw upon, apply inferiore    inferus below, lower [his] lowerbodycorpus body corporis    corpus body bodypartspars part parte    pars part partscovered.velo / velata veil, cover uelata    velo / velata veil, cover covered.

Divus Julius 82.d

Et tu, Brute?

This is the famous dying Caesar quote, spoken to Brutus: “And you, child?” But according to the text, Caesar says it in Greek! The phrase already makes little sense, but how can the Greek make sense? My guess is that this part was copied from some Greek text, perhaps about another fake assassination, and the authors couldn’t make the punnery work in Latin!

This pun was actually the easiest: και συ τεκνον kai su teknon “and you, child” puns with χαζω τεχνην chazō technēn “retiring with a cunning trick”. Which is what this fake assassination is, plain & simple.

Note also the naughty pun hinting at their relationship.

Divus Julius 82.e

Andatque and atque    atque and Andin this wayita therefore, in this way ita    ita therefore, in this way in this way[with] agitationturbo / turbas / turbes disturb, agitate tribus    tres / tribus three [with] threeandet and et    et and andemptyvacans / vacanti emptying uiginti    viginti twenty twentyimpressionsplaga web, trap, curtain, impression plagis    plaga wound, strike wounds[he did] the confusion,confundo / confusu confound, confuse confossus    confodio / confossus damage [he was] damaged,beingsum / est be est    sum / est be being [having]onceunus / uno one uno    unus / uno one onceonlymodo merely, only modo    modo merely, only onlyinad to ad    ad to atthe firstprimus first primum    primus first the firstperformance actactus act, representation of a character, performance of play ictum    ictus blow, stab blowof a comedy [???],comoedus / comoedo of comedy gemitu    gemitus / gemitu sigh, groan groaned,[but] withoutsine without sine    sine without [but] withoutany voice [part]vox / voce voice, sound uoce    vox / voce voice, sound any [loud] soundperformed,edo / edito produce, perform, show edito    edo / edito give out, bring forth emitted,althoughetsi although etsi    etsi although althoughsaytrado / tradiderunt teach, narrate tradiderunt    trado / tradiderunt teach, narrate saysome [that when]quidam someone quidam    quidam someone some [that when]MarcusMarcus Marcus Marco    Marcus Marcus MarcusBrutusBrutus Brutus Bruto    Brutus Brutus Brutus[once?] rushed into [him] [!?!]inruo / inruent force way in, throw self on, enter eagerly in inrumo oral sex irruenti    inruo / inruent attack, invade, rush into attacked [him],[he] said:dico say, talk dixisse    dico say, talk [he] said:[I shall] retirechazō draw back, retire from kai su    kai and su you Even you,[with a] cunning / subterfuge!technē / technēn art, craft, cunning, wile technazō cunning, art, subterfuge teknon?   ?teknon child child?

Divus Julius 82.e

Carried back home

Caesar lies there for a while, while nothing else happens, and is then just carried back home. This makes little sense for a crime inside the senate, but it does for a staged act.

Little punnery is needed here, only the dependente brachio “hanging arm” is odd. Maybe it’s to say the slaves were dependunte pretio “paid a price” for their silence. This might work, since in almost all other Romance languages but Latin (and in English), “price” is written with a C.

Divus Julius 82.f

[When] the crowdsexamen crowd, swarm, multitude exanimis    exanimis dead, breathless [When he] was deadhad disperseddiffugio disperse, scatter diffugientibus    diffugio disperse, scatter [and as] dispersedentirely,cunctus all, entire cunctis    cunctus all, entire all [people,for a whilealiquamdiu for a while aliquamdiu    aliquamdiu for a while for a whilehe liediaceo / iacuit lie down, lie still iacuit    iaceo / iacuit lie down, lie still he lied,untildonec while, until donec    donec while, until until[in a] palanquinlectica sedan, palanquin lecticae    lectica sedan, palanquin [in a] palanquin[he] was placed,impono impose, put upon impositum    impono impose, put upon [he] was placed,[having been] paid [?]dependo spend, pay dependente    dependeo hang down [with a] hanginga bribe [??],pretium / pretio price, reward, bribe brachio    brachium / brachio arm, forearm forearm,[by] threetres three tres    tres three [by] threeslavesservolus slave seruoli    servolus slave slavesof his housedomus house domum    domus house of his house[who] brought [him] back.refero / rettulerunt bring back rettulerunt    refero / rettulerunt bring back [who] brought [him] back.

Divus Julius 82.f

None among them like this one

Here they claim that no wound was as deadly as that special one.

The punnery was hard to make out, but they probably mean that no staged act was excellent as this one (of course). The vulneribus “wounding” may be a pun with a compound term like velo-narratibus “veiled stories”, i.e. fake events.

Note the medico pun, which may explain the name of the Medici family!

Divus Julius 82.g

Notnec not nec    nec not Notamongin in in    in in amongthe manytot so many tot    tot so many the manyveiled stories [???],velo veil narro narrate, tell narratus / narratibus narration, story uulneribus    vulnero wound, injure, hurt wounds,there [was]ut where, that ut    ut where, that that [was][so] excellentantesto / antestas superior, excel, surpass Antistius    Antistius Antistius [of] Antistius[with] paint / color [??]medico dye with color medicus    medicus medical, surgeon [his] surgeonthought to be [??]existimo estimate, think, judge, consider existimabat    existimo estimate, think, judge, consider the estimate,deadlyletalis lethal, deadly, mortal letale    letalis lethal, deadly, mortal [was] deadlyany oneullus / ullum any ullum    ullus / ullum any any onefoundreperio find repertum    reperio find foundto be,sum / est be est    sum / est be to be,exceptnisi if not, unless nisi    nisi if not, unless except[those] whichquod which, what quod    quod which, what [that] which[had] adapted [?]secundo adjust, adapt secundo    secundus / secundo second [was the] second,the [entire?] location [?]loco put, place, arrange loco    locus / loco location, place [which] locatedintoin in, into in    in in, into ina picture [??]pictura / picturae picture, painting pectore    pectus / pectore breast the breastfor entertainment [??].accipio learn, entertain, understand acceperat    accipio accept, receive [he] received.

Divus Julius 82.g

A plan for the opportunity

Here the assassins plan to drag Caesar’s body into the Tiber, but then abandon the plan because they fear Caesar’s allies. That’s also ridiculous! Wouldn’t those allies hate them either way, because they, y’know, killed him?

The punnery is hard to make out, but the Tiberim “Tiber” may be an (anagram) pun with tribum “common people” who were duped here. The other phrases literally describe confiscation of wealth, so it seems faked events were used by the governing elites for public looting, then as now!

Divus Julius 82.h

[There also] wassum / fuerat be fuerat    sum / fuerat be [There also] wasthe plananimus idea, intent, plan animus    animus idea, intent, plan the planto convert [??]converto / convertis convert, transform coniuratis    coniuratus conspirator, plotter [by] the conspirators[of his] killingcorporo make into a body, kill corpus    corpus body [of his] bodythe opportunityoccasio occasion, pretext, opportunity occisi    occisus felled, killed, slain slainintoin in, into in    in in, into into[of] the lower classes [??]tribus / tribum tribe, mob, lower classes Tiberim    Tiberis / Tiberim Tiber river the Tiber river[to be] plundered / swayed [??],traho / trahere plunder, squander, sway, win over, attract support trahere    traho / trahere drag, pull to drag,[of] wealthbonus wealth, costly things bona    bonus wealth, costly things [his] wealthto confiscate,publicatio publication, confiscation publicare    publicatio publication, confiscation to confiscate,[of] administrative actsacta acts, transactions ago / actus administer, govern acta    acta acts, transactions ago / actus administer, govern [his] administrative actsto rescind,rescindo rescind, abolish, annul rescindere    rescindo rescind, abolish, annul to rescind,not to mention [?]sed but also, not to mention sed    sed but but[it was] announcedmitto / mitte emit, guide, announce, report metu    metus / metu fear, dread [for] fear[by] MarcusMarcus Marcus Marci    Marcus Marcus [of] MarcusAntoniusAntonius Antonius Antoni    Antonius Antonius Antoniusthe consul,consul consul consulis    consul consul the consul,andet and et    et and and[by] the mastermagister master magistri    magister master [of] the masterof horsesequus horse equitum    equus horse of horsesLepidus,Lepidus Lepidus Lepidi    Lepidus Lepidus Lepidus,[as a] deception / cheat.destituo delude, deceive, cheat destiterunt    destituo desert, abandon they abandoned [this].

Divus Julius 82.h

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