Caesar’s assassination

🏷  Latin interlinear recommended · text   —   by Gerry · Apr 2022 · 9768 words

The written history of Caesar’s assassination, by Suetonius, appears to be yet another pun-encrypted story. Amazingly, it seems to tell the actual story of the assassination, i.e. how the ancient spooks prepared and enacted the hoax!

Introduction

Miles has already written an excellent article about Julius Caesar. He does a very good job of exposing the public image of Caesar as the usual self-contradictory lies. Like pretty much all famous rulers, Caesar was simply a silly, lazy boy from an ultra-rich family, with an unearned career straight to the top as a birth privilege.

Miles also points out several contradictions in the story, which prove that Caesar’s famous assassination must be fake:

Miles left out my favorite contradiction: Powerful people don’t do things themselves! Not only is it dangerous for them to personally attack anyone. But as palace-bred imbeciles, they’re the least competent persons to carry through any physical operation. If real rulers wanted to kill anyone, especially a peer, they’d use their insane wealth to employ teams of professional assassins. Since in Ceasar’s story, the other aristocrats attack & kill him themselves, it must be made-up nonsense!

Miles even detected a pun in the translation, which still works in English: A soothsayer called Spurinna allegedly warned Caesar about his assassination. That name puns with “spurious”, i.e. fake. I therefore decided to look at the Latin text, to find more of these puns.

English-speaking readers will be familiar with many Latin loanwords, and may have an easier time to form their own opinion here. As a heavily inflected language, Latin seems to have its own punny rules: Encryption words still have to be similar consonant-wise, but often they are only similar in some inflections. It may be the inflections used in the text, but not always. Often, the decrypted sentence is then grammatically wrong.

Content-wise, I also found that Roman histories may be different than the Biblical texts I decrypted before. There, readers were often disappointed & disinterested in the results. They’d expected the secret story to reveal “what really happened”. Instead, it was usually a parable, about a completely different topic. But some Roman texts, judging from this snippet, seem to describe actual people & events. Probably not very truthful, but apparently they do reveal “what really happened”, i.e. that everything was made-up, faked & staged!

Of course, we mustn’t let down our guard. I wouldn’t believe for a second that what the ancient spooks wrote into their encrypted texts is always the truth. All they ever told us is lies. Much of what they say to each other behind the scenes may also be lies. Still, from today’s fake events we can see that this text may be close to the truth, about ancient spookery.

How to read this

Cover-ups for Caesar’s assassination are prepared.

Suetonius claims that Caesar’s assassination was foretold by several omens

All of them seem to be puns with preparations for the fake event by the ancient spooks.

Divus Julius 81.a

Encrypted: But of Caesar’s future cutting down, realistic cover-ups commanded had been.

Official: But of Caesar’s future cutting down, evident omens declared had been.

But
sed: but
Sed
sed: but
But

of Caesar’s
Caesar: Caesar
Caesari
Caesar: Caesar
of Caesar’s

future
futurus: future
futura
futurus: future
future

cutting down,
caedo / caedes / caesurus: cut, cut down
caedes
caedo / caedes / caesurus: cut, cut down
cutting down,

realistic
evidenter: vividly, giving realistic impression
euidentibus
evidenter: evidently, manifestly
evident

cover-ups
pertego / pertegam / pertegis: cover all over
prodigiis
prodigium / prodigiis: prodigy, sign, omen
omens

commanded
denuntio: denounce, declare, command
denuntiata
denuntio: denounce, declare, command
declared

had been.
sum / est: be
est
sum / est: be
had been.

Divus Julius 81.a

Spooks invent red paint bags for the assassination.

In this first omen, colonists in “Capua” “find” the tomb of “Capys”, plus vessels with a bronze tablet foretelling that his descendant would be killed by the “hand of blood-relatives”.

Capua puns with capa “cape”, capsa “capsule”, capio “cheating”. In fact, these words all seem related, derived from “holding”. Capys is probably again a pun with capsis “capsules”.

Since the words for “finding” and “inventing” are similar in Latin and other languages, it may be that the text really describes how the ancient spooks “invented” some theatrical prop in preparation for the fake assassination. If it involves actual “vessels” and a “bronze tablet”, it may be that they filled up tiny vessels or capsules beneath the victim’s clothing with red paint, and provided a bronze plate as protection. A fake attack could then cut the vessels, produce the “blood”, and the fake victim would be protected by the plate.

The other puns support this, and it’s actually used later in the story, so the use of moulage in fake events may be a very ancient trick.

Divus Julius 81.b

Encrypted: A few before months, when in artificial cloakings / deceptions were brought to gather the mock pretenders, [in order] to build up veils, [some] covering supplies / tricks [???] [they] designed, and they [?] [were] there eager building [them], as some small vessels [??] [were] filled / covered before that in secret with red [paint?] [and] a board of bronze for protection, on which deceptively [??] the satchels / capsules constructed [as a] container / deception [??] [were] supplied [?], was invented,

Official: A few before months, when in the colony Capua were brought to gather the Julian colonists, [in order] to build villas, [some] ancient tombs [they] broke apart, and they [?] [were] there eager doing [it], as some small vessels worked [and] ancient [they] examined [and] found, [and] a tablet of bronze inside a monument, in which was said Capys the founder of Capua [to be] buried, was found,

A few
paucus: few
paucos
paucus: few
A few

before
ante: before
ante
ante: before
before

months,
mensis: month
menses
mensis: month
months,

when
cum: with, when
cum
cum: with, when
when

in
in: in
in
in: in
in

artificial
calumnia: trickery, artifice, sham, pretenses
colonia
colonia: colony
the colony

cloakings / deceptions
capa: cape, cloak; capio: cheat, deceive
Capua
Capua: Capua
Capua

were brought
deduco: lead away, bring out
deducti
deduco: lead away, bring out
were brought

to gather
lego: gather, collect
lege
lego: gather, collect
to gather

the mock
illudo / illusus / illusi: mock, ridicule
Iulia
Iulius: Julius
the Julian

pretenders,
calumnia: trickery, artifice, sham, pretenses
coloni
colonus / coloni: colonist
colonists,

[in order] to
ad: to
ad
ad: to
[in order] to

build up
exstruo: build, construct
extruendas
exstruo: build, construct
build

veils,
velum / vela: veil, curtain, covering
uillas
villa / villum: villa, farm
villas,

[some] covering
vestis: veil, curtain, covering
uetustissima
vetustus: aged, old
[some] ancient

supplies / tricks [???]
suppleo: supply; sublino / sublevi: befool, cheat; -crum: (diminutive suffix)
sepulcra
sepulcrum: sepulchre, tomb; sepelio: bury; -crum: (diminutive suffix)
tombs

[they] designed,
designo: design, plan, scheme
dissicerent
disseco: dissect, open by force
[they] broke apart,

and they [?]
is: he, it; -que: and
idque
is: he, it; -que: and
and they [?]

[were] there
eo: there
eo
eo: there
[were] there

eager
studiosus: studious, eager, fond
studiosius
studiosus: studious, eager, fond
eager

building [them],
facio: do, make, build
facerent
facio: do, make, build
doing [it],

as
quod: because, which
quod
quod: because, which
as

some
aliquantum: some
aliquantum
aliquantum: some
some

small vessels [??]
vasculum: small vessel
uasculorum
vasculum: small vessel
small vessels

[were] filled / covered
operio / operis: cover; oppleo / oppleris: fill up, cover
operis
opus / operis: work, labor
worked

before that
ante: before; qui: that
antiqui
antiquus / antiqui: ancient
[and] ancient

in secret
secretus: secret; secreto: secretly; scruta: trumpery
scrutantes
scrutor: scrutinize, search, examine
[they] examined

with red [paint?]
ruber: red, painted red
reperiebant
reperio: find, find out, invent, meet with
[and] found,

[and] a board
tabula: tablet, board, document
tabula
tabula: tablet, board, document
[and] a tablet

of bronze
aeneus: copper, bronze
aenea
aeneus: copper, bronze
of bronze

for
in: in, into, on, for
in
in: in, into, on, for
inside

protection,
munimentum / munimento: protection
monimento
monimentum / monimento: monument
a monument,

on
in: in, into, on, for
in
in: in, into, on, for
in

which
qui / quo: which
quo
qui / quo: which
which

deceptively [??]
decipio / decipietur: deceive, beguile
dicebatur
dico / dicebatur: say, speak
was said

the satchels / capsules
capsa / capsis: box, case, satchel
Capys
Capys: Capys
Capys

constructed
condo / conditur: build, construct
conditor
conditor: builder, founder
the founder

[as a] container / deception [??]
capio: contain, cheat, deceive
Capuae
Capua: Capua
of Capua

[were] supplied [?],
suppleo / suppletus: supply, supplement; sublino / sublitus: befool, cheat
sepultus
sepelio / sepultus: bury
[to be] buried,

was invented,
inventio / inventa: invention, plan
inuenta
invenio / inventa: find
was found,

Divus Julius 81.b

Whoever uses the paint bags will appear to bleed.

Here it’s described how the red paint packages work. Most words have double meanings and don’t need to be changed. There’s even literal “blood” in the text: the “blood-relatives”.

Divus Julius 81.c

Encrypted: and it was written / drawn up / described [?] in letters and words [by] the company / crew [???] thus [for] this purpose: When used the bags / satchels [??] to be uncovered / exposed are, will be that he [who] is familiar with [it] [can] shed / flow / pour forth with blood [in] trickery powerfully, [and] then [it is] useful / helpful [so that] calamity / mischief [is] claimed / vindicated.

Official: and it was written in letters and words in Greek thus the sentence: When the bones of Capys uncovered are, will be that his descendant [by] the hand [of his] blood-relatives will be killed and very / greatly [??] soon [in] Italy disasters will avenge [him].

and it was
est: is
est
est: is
and it was

written / drawn up / described [?]
describo / descripta: describe, write down
conscripta
conscribo / conscripta: write down, draw up, compose
written

in letters
littera / litteris: letter
litteris
littera / litteris: letter
in letters

and words
verbum / verbis: word
uerbisque
verbum / verbis: word
and words

[by] the company / crew [???]
grex / gregis: company, crew
Graecis
Graecus / Graecis: Greek
in Greek

thus
hac: here, so, thus
hac
hac: here, so, thus
thus

[for] this purpose:
sententia: will, purpose
sententia
sententia: sentence, judgement, will
the sentence:

When
quandoque: whenever
quandoque
quandoque: whenever
When

used
utor / usus / usu: use
ossa
ossum / ossa / osso: bone
the bones

the bags / satchels [??]
capsa / capsis: box, case, satchel
Capyis
Capys: Capys
of Capys

to be uncovered / exposed
detego / detecta: unsheathe, remove
detecta
detego / detecta: detect, uncover, expose, reveal
uncovered

are,
essent: are
essent
essent: are
are,

will be
sum / fore: be, will be
fore
sum / fore: be, will be
will be

that
ut: as, that
ut
ut: as, that
that

he
ille: that, he
illo
ille: that, he
his

[who] is familiar with [it]
pro: before; gnosco / gnotus: know, learn, familar
prognatus
prognatus: born, descended; pro: before; gnatus: child
descendant

[can] shed / flow / pour forth
mano / mana: shed, flow, pour forth
manu
manus / manu: hand
[by] the hand

with blood
con-: with; sanguineus: of blood
consanguineorum
consanguineus: same blood, related by blood
[of his] blood-relatives

[in] trickery
nugor / nugaretur: jest, trick, cheat
necaretur
neco / necaretur: kill, murder
will be killed

powerfully,
magnus: powerful, extensive, strong
magnisque
magnus: great
and very / greatly [??]

[and] then
mox: soon, directly, then
mox
mox: soon, directly, then
soon

[it is] useful / helpful
utilis / utilia: useful, helpful; utilitas: utility
Italiae
Italia: Italy
[in] Italy

[so that] calamity / mischief
clades / cladibus: mischief
cladibus
clades / cladibus: calamity, disaster
disasters

[is] claimed / vindicated.
vindico: claim, assume, protect
uindicaretur
vindico: vindicate, punish, avenge
will avenge [him].

Divus Julius 81.c

Not invented by (just) anybody, but theater experts.

Here they say that these things were not invented by anybody.

The joke seems to be that it was not just anybody, but top-level ancient spooks: The auctor “author” of this fake event was actually a professional actor “actor”!

Divus Julius 81.d

Encrypted: [And] these objects / things / stories [are] not [what just] anybody play-enacted or invented, [but professionally] arranged by a theatrical actor [who] was Cornelius Balbus, an intimate [friend] of Caesar.

Official: [And] these affairs [are] not [what] somebody fabled up or invented [to be] suspected, [but] the originator was Cornelius Balbus, an intimate [friend] of Caesar.

[And] these
cuius: who, what, which
cuius
cuius: who, what, which
[And] these

objects / things / stories
res / rei: thing, object, story
rei
res / rei: matter, affair
affairs

[are] not
ne: not
ne
ne: not
[are] not

[what just] anybody
quis: someone, anyone
quis
quis: someone, anyone
[what] somebody

play-enacted
fabula: story, play
fabulosam
fabulosus: fabulous
fabled up

or
aut: or
aut
aut: or
or

invented,
commenticius: thought out, fabricated, invented
commenticiam
commenticius: thought out, fabricated, invented
invented

[but professionally] arranged
puto / putet: arrange, settle
putet
puto / putet: suspect, consider, suppose
[to be] suspected,

by a theatrical actor
actor: actor, performer in theatrical play
auctor
auctor: author, originator
[but] the originator

[who] was
est: is
est
est: is
was

Cornelius
Cornelius: Cornelius
Cornelius
Cornelius: Cornelius
Cornelius

Balbus,
Balbus: Balbus
Balbus
Balbus: Balbus
Balbus,

an intimate [friend]
familiaris: of a house, private
familiarissimus
familiaris: of a house, private
an intimate [friend]

of Caesar.
Caesar: Caesar
Caesaris
Caesar: Caesar
of Caesar.

Divus Julius 81.d

Crisis actors practice the show verbatim with Caesar.

In this paragraph, Caesar’s “horses” who had “crossed” the “Rubicon” start to “weep”.

The encrypted story seems to be about crisis actors rehearsing with Caesar: equorum “horses” puns with aeqorum “equal”. traiciendo “crossing” puns with tricando “playing tricks”. And flere “weeping” puns with fallere “tricking”. So it seems the spooks were rehearsing their theatrical tricks. The pun of pertinacissimus pabulo “persevering [to refuse] food” may be with praetens-issimus popello “pretended common people”, i.e. crisis actors playing “the crowd”. The “Rubicon” could again stand for red paint, but the word that best fits the context is urbaniciani “urban”, i.e. the crisis actors pretending to be urban citizens.

The diviner Spurinna appears as a pun with spurius “spurious”, already decrypted by Miles. Her divination about the Martias Idus “middle of the month March” seems to be a pun with mortis idos “appearing to be dead”, i.e. Ceasar’s acting. The periculum “trial” that the diviner warns him about, may stand for an actual “trial” or “test”, i.e. his rehearsal.

Note how the literal story aimlessly jumps from horses, to divination, to birds. But the pun-encrypted story fits together seamlessly: The crisis actors rehearse together with Caesar and applaud him!

Divus Julius 81.e

Encrypted: The next day, [people] like / equal to a crowd which while playing as a trick to be urban [???] servants / subjects [?] in jest [???] and [who were] roaming about and without having been seen [had been] send out, [they] appeared [while] pretending [to be] common people, [and in] show / pretence verbatim [enacted] the deception. And [when] emulating, the sight [was] horrific [yet] spurious, [he?] was painted red [??] [and] lied down [in] a trial / attempt which [would] not be over [until] of death the appearance [was] shown / presented.

Official: The next day, the horses [of] the flock [herd?], which while crossing the Rubicon river he had consecrated, and [who were] roaming about and without being overseen [had been] send out, [they were] found out [to have] tenaciously the food refused, [and] abundantly wept & cried. And [when he was??] sacrificing, the soothsayer Spurinna warned him to beware of a peril, which [would] not be over [until] [of] the month March the middle had come.

The next
proximus: nearest, next
proximis
proximus: nearest, next
The next

day,
dies / diebus: day
diebus
dies / diebus: day
day,

[people] like / equal to
aequus / aequorum: equal, like
equorum
equus / equorum: horse
the horses

a crowd
grex: crowd, group of people, troupe of actors
greges
grex: flock, swarm
[of] the flock [herd?],

which
qui: who, which
quos
qui: who, which
which

while
in: in
in
in: in
while

playing as a trick
trico / tricando: play tricks
traiciendo
traicio / traiciendo: cause to go across
crossing

to be urban [???]
urbicus / urbicorum: city, civic; urbanicianus / urbaniciani: city-garrisoned
Rubiconi
Rubicon: Rubicon; robus: red; rufus: red; rufesco: redden
the Rubicon

servants / subjects [?]
famulus / famuli: servant, slave, subject
flumini
flumen / flumini: river
river

in jest [???]
con-: with; scurra: jester, joker, clown
consecrarat
consecro: consecrate, set apart
he had consecrated,

and
ac: and
ac
ac: and
and

[who were] roaming about
vagus: roaming, vagrant
uagos
vagus: roaming, vagrant
[who were] roaming about

and
et: and
et
et: and
and

without
sine: without
sine
sine: without
without

having been seen
custodio: guard, watch, observe
custode
custodio: guard, watch, observe
being overseen

[had been] send out,
dimitto: send out, scatter
dimiserat
dimitto: send out, scatter
[had been] send out,

[they] appeared
compareo: visible, appear
comperit
comperio: find out
[they were] found out

[while] pretending [to be]
praetendo / praetensus: pretend; -issimus: (superlative)
pertinacissime
pertinacissimus: persevering; pertendo: persevere
[to have] tenaciously

common people,
populus / populo: people; popellus / popello: common people
pabulo
pabulum / pabulo: food, fodder
the food

[and in] show / pretence
obtineo: show; obtentus: pretence, veil
abstinere
abstineo: abstain, keep off
refused,

verbatim
verbatim: verbatim, word for word
ubertimque
ubertim: abundantly
[and] abundantly

[enacted] the deception.
fallo / fallere: deceive, trick
flere
fleo / flere: weep, cry
wept & cried.

And
et: and
et
et: and
And

[when] emulating,
aemulo: emulate, imitate
immolantem
immolo: immolate, sacrifice
[when he was??] sacrificing,

the sight [was] horrific
horreo: dread, frightful; specio / spex: look at, see
haruspex
haruspex: diviner; hira: gut; specio / spex: look at, see
the soothsayer

[yet] spurious,
spurius / spurio: spurious, false
Spurinna
Spurinna: Spurinna
Spurinna

[he?] was painted red [??]
minio: paint red, colored red
monuit
moneo: admonish, advise, warn
warned him

[and] lied down
cubo / cubaret: lie down
caueret
caveo / caveret: take care, beware, avoid
to beware

[in] a trial / attempt
periculum: experiment, trial, attempt
periculum
periculum: peril, danger
of a peril,

which
qui: who, which
quod
qui: who, which
which

[would] not
non: not
non
non: not
[would] not

be over [until]
ultra: past, over
ultra
ultra: past, over
be over [until]

of death
mortis: death
Martias
Martius: of Mars
[of] the month March

the appearance
idos: form, shape, appearance
Idus
idus: ides, middle of month
the middle

[was] shown / presented.
profero: produce, appear, present, show oneself
proferretur
profero: bring out, bring forth
had come.

Divus Julius 81.e

Crisis actors enact a crowd and applaud Caesar.

Divus Julius 81.f

Encrypted: The day before also, the same [people?] in [his] form / appearance applauded the ruler at [his] ghostly mischivous deed [??], [when?] pompously [?] and elaborately [?] he himself inflicted [it], and vulgar [people] of various stocks out of the nearest population were imitated [by] the same plan / description.

Official: [On] the day before also, [on] the same [day?] in the middle of the month, a bird wren with a laurel twig into the Pompeian court itself came in, [and other] birds of various sorts out of the nearest grove persued the same [and] mutilated [it].

The day before
pridie: day before
pridie
pridie: day before
[On] the day before

also,
autem: also
autem
autem: also
also,

the same [people?]
idem: the same
easdem
idem: the same
[on] the same [day?]

in [his] form / appearance
idos: form, shape, appearance
Idus
idus: ides, middle of month
in the middle of the month,

applauded
ovo / ovem: rejoice, applaud
auem
avis / avem: bird
a bird

the ruler
regalis: royal; regulus: ruler
regaliolum
regaliolus: wren, (small bird)
wren

at
cum: with
cum
cum: with
with

[his] ghostly
larvalis: ghostly
laureo
laureus: of laurel
a laurel

mischivous deed [??],
res / re: deed, affair; malus: mischievous
ramulo
ramulus: twig, sprig
twig

[when?] pompously [?]
pomposus: pompous; pompaticus: showy
Pompeianae
Pompeius: Pompey
into the Pompeian

and elaborately [?]
curiosus: elaborate, complicated
curiae
curia: court
court

he himself
se: himself, itself
se
se: himself, itself
itself

inflicted [it],
infero: cause, inflict
inferentem
infero: bring in
came in,

and vulgar [people]
vulgaris: common, vulgar
uolucres
volucris: bird
[and other] birds

of various
varius: various
uarii
varius: various
of various

stocks
gens: people
generis
genus: race, type
sorts

out of
ex: out of
ex
ex: out of
out of

the nearest
proximus: nearest
proximo
proximus: nearest
the nearest

population
numerosus: populous, of many people
nemore
nemus / nemore: grove, glade
grove

were imitated
persequor: imitate
persecutae
persequor: follow, pursue
persued

[by] the same
ibidem: in that place
ibidem
ibidem: in that place
the same

plan / description.
descriptio: plan, description
discerpserunt
discerpo: rend, mangle, mutilate
[and] mutilated [it].

Divus Julius 81.f

Caesar practices his death, and tricks his wife.

Here, Caesar has a dream of himself “flying” in the “clouds”. nubes “clouds” puns with nubes “veiling”, and volitare “flying” puns with velator “veil”. So he probably veils himself with a veil. Perhaps it’s a literal veil, i.e. he pratices lying beneath a shroud, pretending to be dead. The other words support this.

Then his wife imagines he fell from the top of their “marital” house, and him being “stabbed”. maritum “marital” puns with mortium “mortal”, and confodio “stabbing” puns with confundo “confounding”. So Caesar may have practiced the trick on his wife, who really imagined he was dead. I don’t quite believe this one though: Partners of spooks should know after some time that their spouses are up to mischief every day.

Divus Julius 81.g

Encrypted: That very night, which dawned [to] the day [when he was] to be felled also just he to himself made [such] an appearance, [it] was by [lying] quietly for some time [having] above [him?] a veil veiling [him]. [And in] another [night] when by assistants skillful [he was] joined. And [even] Calpurnia [his] wife imagined [that he] had [really] fallen down [??] [from] the top of the house [to his] death, [and even] in [her] lap [having] her confounded [by] assuming a form [of death?] in the bedchamber at the doors spontaneously [he] could.

Official: That very night, which dawned [to] the day [when he was] to be felled also he to himself was seen, being by quietly for some time above the clouds flying, [and in] another [night] that [with] Jupiter [at] the right hand [he was] joined. And Calpurnia [his] wife had imagined [that there] was falling down the top of the house of her marriage, [and] in [her] lap he was [lying] stabbed, and suddenly in the bedchamber the doors on their own will opened.

That
is / ea: he, she, it
ea
is / ea: he, she, it
That

very
verus: actual, right
uero
verus: actual, right
very

night,
nox / nocte: night
nocte
nox / nocte: night
night,

which
cui: who, which
cui
cui: who, which
which

dawned
inlucesco: begin to dawn
inluxit
inlucesco: begin to dawn
dawned

[to] the day
dies: day
dies
dies: day
[to] the day

[when he was] to be felled
caedo: cut, hew, fell
caedis
caedo: cut, hew, fell
[when he was] to be felled

also
et: and
et
et: and
also

just he
ipse: just, himself
ipse
ipse: just, himself
he

to himself
sui / sibi: of himself
sibi
sui / sibi: of himself
to himself

made [such] an appearance,
video / visus: be seen, appear
uisus
video / visus: see, perceive
was seen,

[it] was
sum / est: be
est
sum / est: be
being

by
per: through, by
per
per: through, by
by

[lying] quietly
quies: quiet, calm, keeping still
quietem
quies: quiet, calm, keeping still
quietly

for some time
interdum: for some time
interdum
interdum: for some time
for some time

[having] above [him?]
supra: above, over
supra
supra: above, over
above

a veil
nubo / nubes: cover, veil
nubes
nubes: cloud, concealment
the clouds

veiling [him].
velo / velato / velator: veil; vallo / vallito / vallator: surround
uolitare
volito / volitare: fly about
flying,

[And in] another [night]
alius / alias: another, other, different
alias
alius / alias: another, other, different
[and in] another [night]

when
cum: when
cum
cum: when
that

by assistants
iuvo / iuves: help, assist
Ioue
Iovis: Jupiter
[with] Jupiter

skillful
dexter: skillful, proper
dextram
dexter: right, right hand
[at] the right hand

[he was] joined.
iungo: join, unite
iungere
iungo: join, unite
[he was] joined.

And [even]
et: and
et
et: and
And

Calpurnia
Calpurnia: Calpurnia
Calpurnia
Calpurnia: Calpurnia
Calpurnia

[his] wife
uxor: wife, consort
uxor
uxor: wife, consort
[his] wife

imagined
imaginatus: imagine
imaginata
imaginatus: imagine
had imagined

[that he] had [really]
sum / est: be
est
sum / est: be
[that there] was

fallen down [??]
collabor / conlabi: collapse, fall in
conlabi
collabor / conlabi: collapse, fall in
falling down

[from] the top
fastigium: top, gable, sharp point
fastigium
fastigium: top, gable, sharp point
the top

of the house
domus: house
domus
domus: house
of the house

[to his] death,
mors / mortium: death, corpse
maritumque
maritus / maritum: marital
of her marriage,

[and even] in
in: in, into, for
in
in: in, into, for
[and] in

[her] lap
gremium: lap, bosom, female genital parts
gremio
gremium: lap, bosom, female genital parts
[her] lap

[having] her
suus / suo: his, her, its
suo
suus / suo: his, her, its
he

confounded
confundo: confound, confuse
confodi
confodio: damage, stab, pierce
was [lying] stabbed,

[by]
ac: and
ac
ac: and
and

assuming a form [of death?]
subeo / subito: enter stealthily, come secretly, assume a form
subito
subeo / subito: enter, suddenly
suddenly

in the bedchamber
cubiculum: bedchamber
cubiculi
cubiculum: bedchamber
in the bedchamber

at the doors
foris: door, gate
fores
foris: door, gate
the doors

spontaneously
sponte: willingly, spontaneously
sponte
sponte: willingly, spontaneously
on their own will

[he] could.
possum / potes / potui: can, able
patuerunt
pateo / pates / patui: open
opened.

Divus Julius 81.g

No delay allowed, the event must start.

This paragraph works even without punnery: Caesar ponders to delay the event, but Brutus convinces him not to. The only necessary pun is of propono “propose [before the senate]” with propono “display [before the senate]”. It’s actually the same word in another meaning.

Divus Julius 81.h

Encrypted: Unto [all] this together, and unto [his] infirm health, for a while [he] was in doubt whether [he should] himself keep safe, and [for] that which before the senate he would display make a deferral. [But] finally, Decimus Brutus encouraged [him] not the many people [??] and now for a time working / operation [??] to disappoint.

Official: Unto [all] this together, and unto [his] infirm health, for a while [he] was in doubt whether [he should] himself keep safe, and [for] that which before the senate he would propose make a deferral. [But] finally, Decimus Brutus encouraged [him] not the crowded [??] and now for a time waiting [senate?] to disappoint.

Unto
ob: to
Ob
ob: to
Unto

[all] this
hic / haec: here
haec
hic / haec: here
[all] this

together,
simul: same time, simultaneous
simul
simul: same time, simultaneous
together,

and
et: and
et
et: and
and

unto
ob: to
ob
ob: to
unto

[his] infirm
infirmus: infirm, weak
infirmam
infirmus: infirm, weak
[his] infirm

health,
valetudo: habit, state of body, health
ualitudinem
valetudo: habit, state of body, health
health,

for a while
diu: a while
diu
diu: a while
for a while

[he] was in doubt
cunctor / cunctatus: delay, hesitate, doubt
cunctatus
cunctor / cunctatus: delay, hesitate, doubt
[he] was in doubt

whether
an: or whether
an
an: or whether
whether

[he should] himself
se: himself
se
se: himself
[he should] himself

keep safe,
contineo: contain, hold, keep safe, enclose
contineret
contineo: contain, hold, keep safe, enclose
keep safe,

and
et: and
et
et: and
and

[for] that which
qui / quae: who, which, what
quae
qui / quae: who, which, what
[for] that which

before
apud: among, before
apud
apud: among, before
before

the senate
senatus: senate
senatum
senatus: senate
the senate

he would display
propono / proposuerat: expose to view, represent, display
proposuerat
propono / proposuerat: propose
he would propose

make
ago / agere: do, make, act
agere
ago / agere: do, make, act
make

a deferral.
differo: defer, separate
differret
differo: defer, separate
a deferral.

[But] finally,
tandem: finally
tandem
tandem: finally
[But] finally,

Decimus
Decimus: Decimus
Decimo
Decimus: Decimus
Decimus

Brutus
Brutus: Brutus
Bruto
Brutus: Brutus
Brutus

encouraged [him]
adhortor: stimulate, encourage
adhortante
adhortor: stimulate, encourage
encouraged [him]

not
ne: not
ne
ne: not
not

the many people [??]
frequens: frequent, crowded, populous
frequentis
frequens: frequent, crowded, populous
the crowded [??]

and
ac: and
ac
ac: and
and

now
iam: already, now, soon
iam
iam: already, now, soon
now

for a time
dudum: short time ago
dudum
dudum: short time ago
for a time

working / operation [??]
operatio: operation, activity; opertus: covered
opperientis
opperior: wait, await
waiting [senate?]

to disappoint.
destituo: leave, disappoint
destitueret
destituo: leave, disappoint
to disappoint.

Divus Julius 81.h

Caesar is handed a leaflet describing the plot.

This paragraph also works with very little punnery: Someone hands Caesar a leaflet describing the “plot”, but he just puts it together with other documents, to read it later. The surface story is strange: Who would do this, and how would the author even know? But it may have been a leaflet describing the “plot of the theatrical play” he was about to perform. He holds it with other papers to conceal it.

Divus Julius 81.i

Encrypted: [So at] five nearly at the hour [he] proceeded being [having] a leaflet of the deception / artifice being given in brief hints, from preventing someone [on the way] piercing / disturbing [it all] [with] the leaflets others which [he had] in his left hand he held [it] as if soon he would read [them] combined.

Official: [So at] five nearly at the hour [he] proceeded being [having] a leaflet of the plot being revealed, by having met someone [on the way] [who] offered [it], [with] the leaflets others which [he had] in his left hand he held [it] as if soon he would read [them] combined.

[So at] five
quintus: fifth
quinta
quintus: fifth
[So at] five

nearly
fere: nearly
fere
fere: nearly
nearly

at the hour
hora: hour
hora
hora: hour
at the hour

[he] proceeded
progressus: progress, proceed
progressus
progressus: progress, proceed
[he] proceeded

being [having]
est: is
est
est: is
being [having]

a leaflet
libellus: little book, leaflet, petition
libellumque
libellus: little book, leaflet, petition
a leaflet

of the deception / artifice
insidiosus: cunning, deceitful
insidiarum
insidia / insidiae: artifice, ambush, plot
of the plot

being given in brief hints,
indico: point out, declare, give hint, state briefly
indicem
indico: point out, reveal, uncover
being revealed,

from
ab: from, by
ab
ab: from, by
by

preventing
obvio: prevent
obuio
obvio: meet
having met

someone [on the way]
quidam: someone
quodam
quidam: someone
someone [on the way]

piercing / disturbing [it all]
perago: pierce, harass, disturb
porrectum
porrigo: spread out, offer
[who] offered [it],

[with] the leaflets
libellus: little book, leaflet, petition
libellis
libellus: little book, leaflet, petition
[with] the leaflets

others
ceterus: the other, rest
ceteris
ceterus: the other, rest
others

which [he had]
qui / quos: which
quos
qui / quos: which
which [he had]

in his left
sinister: left
sinistra
sinister: left
in his left

hand
manus: hand
manu
manus: hand
hand

he held [it]
teneo: hold, possess
tenebat
teneo: hold, possess
he held [it]

as if
quasi: as if, like
quasi
quasi: as if, like
as if

soon
mox: soon
mox
mox: soon
soon

he would read [them]
lecturus: read, recite
lecturus
lecturus: read, recite
he would read [them]

combined.
commisceo: join, combine
commiscuit
commisceo: join, combine
combined.

Divus Julius 81.i

The senate building is blocked to the public through tricks.

The spretus “separated [entrails]” here may hint at “separating off” the senate, so that no commoners could disturb the spooks. Such separations, with spookling bouncers and the like, are still used today.

Spurinna appears again as a pun with spurius “spurious”, as does the Martias Idus, with mortis idos “appearing to be dead”.

Divus Julius 81.j

Encrypted: Then more tricks were used together [?] at the sides, [so] none was able to enter the [senate] court [which] was separated scrupulously. [For] the false mockery, and because [of] the false show, because [even] without any [of] its harmful [events], the appearance of death [would still?] be present. Although [of] it [there could still] come someone going [in?] [it was] said, but not [yet] [had anything] been seen.

Official: Then more sacrifices were cut open when obtaining omens, [but] none [said he] could enter the [senate] court [in] the severed [entrails?] sacred. Spurinna [he] laughed at, and at that of lying accused [her?], because without any [of] her harmful [events] the Ides of Mars was present. But [of] it [there would still] come something following [she] said, but not [yet] [has it] passed.

Then
deinde: then, next
dein
deinde: then, next
Then

more
plus / pluribus: more
pluribus
plus / pluribus: more
more

tricks
astus / astui: craft, guile, tricks; astutia / astutiis: cunning trick
hostiis
hostia / hostiis: sacrifice
sacrifices

were used together [?]
co-: together; usus: use
caesis
caesus: cut, felled
were cut open

at
cum: with, at
cum
cum: when
when

the sides,
latus / latera: side, flank; lateralis: lateral
litare
lito / litare: make an offering, obtain omen
obtaining omens,

[so] none
non: not
non
non: not
[but] none

was able
possum / posset: can, able
posset
possum / posset: can, able
[said he] could

to enter
introeo: enter
introiit
introeo: enter
enter

the [senate] court
curia / curiam: court, senate
curiam
curia / curiam: court, senate
the [senate] court

[which] was separated
sperno / spretus: separate, reject, scorn
spreta
sperno / spretus: sever
[in] the severed [entrails?]

scrupulously.
religiosus: scrupulous
religione
religiosus: religious, sacred
sacred.

[For] the false
spurio: spurious, false
Spurinnamque
Spurinna: Spurinna
Spurinna

mockery,
irrideo: laugh at, mock
irridens
irrideo: laugh at, mock
[he] laughed at,

and
et: and
et
et: and
and

because [of]
ut: as, like, that, because, although
ut
ut: as, like, that, because, although
at that

the false
falsum: falsehood, deceit, lie
falsum
falsum: falsehood, deceit, lie
of lying

show,
arguo: declare, show, accuse, blame
arguens
arguo: declare, show, accuse, blame
accused [her?],

because
quod: which, because
quod
quod: which, because
because

[even] without
sine: without
sine
sine: without
without

any
ullus: any
ulla
ullus: any
any

[of] its
sua: hers
sua
sua: hers
[of] her

harmful [events],
noxa: hurt, harm
noxa
noxa: hurt, harm
harmful [events]

the appearance
idos: form, shape, appearance
Idus
idus: ides, middle of month
the Ides

of death
mortis: death
Martiae
Martius: of Mars
of Mars

[would still?] be present.
adsum / adesse: present
adessent
adsum / adesse: present
was present.

Although
quamquam: although
quanquam
quamquam: although
But

[of] it
is: he, she, it
is
is: he, she, it
[of] it

[there could still] come
venio / venisse: come
uenisse
venio / venisse: come
[there would still] come

someone
quidam: someone, something
quidem
quidam: someone, something
something

going [in?]
eo / eas: go, proceed, follow
eas
eo / eas: go, proceed, follow
following

[it was] said,
dice / diceret: say
diceret
dice / diceret: say
[she] said,

but
sed: but
sed
sed: but
but

not [yet]
non: not
non
non: not
not [yet]

[had anything] been seen.
pareo / pareto / paretur: appear, visible, apparent, be seen
praeterisse
praetereo: go by, omit, pass, miss
[has it] passed.

Divus Julius 81.j

The assassins are assuming their theatrical parts.

Here, Tillius Cimber is said to be the first to partes susceperat “assume his part” in the assassination. But that expression also means to “assume a part” in a theatrical play. He also “gestures” to Caesar beforehand, which is absolutely not what an assassin would do. But a fellow actor in a staged play would!

Divus Julius 82.a

Encrypted: [As he] sat down, the spurners [mockers??] [for] the view to block / impede stood around [him]. Then Cimber Tillius who first [his] theatrical role assumed, as if [he had] something to quarrel about, nearer approached [him]. [He] announced [it] and gestured [him] [to] in mockery attempt [??] the distraction / confounding [??].

Official: [As he] sat down, the conspirators [in] appearance of a courtesy [greetings] stood around [him]. Then Cimber Tillius, who first [his] part assumed, as if [he had] something to ask, nearer approached [him]. [But he] declined and gestured [to him] [to ask] at some other time different.

[As he] sat down,
assideo: sit down before
assidentem
assideo: sit down before
[As he] sat down,

the spurners [mockers??]
con-: with; sperno / spretus / spreti: spurn, scorn
conspirati
conspiratus: conspiring, agreement, harmony
the conspirators

[for] the view
species: sight, look, view, appearance
specie
species: sight, look, view, appearance
[in] appearance

to block / impede
officio / offici: obstruct, hinder, block
officii
officium / officii: service, favor, courtesy
of a courtesy [greetings]

stood around [him].
circumsto: stand around
circumsteterunt
circumsto: stand around
stood around [him].

Then
ilico: there
ilicoque
ilico: there
Then

Cimber
Cimber: Cimber
Cimber
Cimber: Cimber
Cimber

Tillius
Tillius: Tillius
Tillius
Tillius: Tillius
Tillius,

who
qui: who
qui
qui: who
who

first
primas: first
primas
primas: first
first

[his] theatrical role
pars / partes: character in theater
partes
pars / partes: part, piece
[his] part

assumed,
suscipio: assume; susceptor: entertainer
susceperat
suscipio: take up
assumed,

as if
quasi: as if, like
quasi
quasi: as if, like
as if

[he had] something
aliquis: something
aliquid
aliquis: something
[he had] something

to quarrel about,
rixor / rixatus: quarrel, brawl
rogaturus
rogo / rogaturus: interrogate, ask
to ask,

nearer
propior / propius: nearer
propius
propior / propius: nearer
nearer

approached [him].
accedo / accessit: go toward, approach
accessit
accedo / accessit: go toward, approach
approached [him].

[He] announced [it]
renuntio: renounce, announce, report
renuentique
renuens / renuenti: refusing, declining
[But he] declined

and
et: and
et
et: and
and

gestured [him]
gestus / gestum: gesture
gestum
gestus / gestum: gesture
gestured [to him]

[to] in
in: in
in
in: in
[to ask] at

mockery
alludo: jest, mocking allusion; illudo: mock
aliud
alius / aliud: another, else
some other

attempt [??]
tempto: test, try; adtempto: attempt, try
tempus
tempus: time, occasion
time

the distraction / confounding [??].
differo: confound, distract
differenti
differo: differ, different
different.

Divus Julius 82.a

The attackers shout: “It’s only an appearance!”

After having “gestured” to Caesar, Tillius now seizes him at both shoulders. This is also ridiculous: Real assassins would try to stab their victim unnoticed from behind, and then leave. No one interferes, because as in all fake assassinations, the world’s richest people have no bodyguard, and government buildings are also unguarded.

Caesar then exclaims: quidem vis est “this is an assault”, which puns with quidem visus est “this is [only] an appearance”! The vulnerat “wounding” afterwards may be a pun with velarat “veiling” / “covering”, so that Caesar can use the theatrical props.

Divus Julius 82.b

Encrypted: On both [sides] [of] the shoulders [by] the toga [he] seized [him]. Then [he] called out: This in fact [only] an appearance is! One of [the] Casca [family] [from] the other side [?] covered [him] a little under [another] angle [??].

Official: On both [sides] [of] the shoulders [by] the toga [he] seized [him]. Then [he] called out: This in fact an assault is! One of [the] Casca [family] [from] the other side [?] wounded [him] a little under the collarbone.

On
ab: from
ab
ab: from
On

both [sides]
uterque / utroque: both
utroque
uterque / utroque: both
both [sides]

[of] the shoulders
umerus: upper arm, shoulder
umero
umerus: upper arm, shoulder
[of] the shoulders

[by] the toga
toga: toga
togam
toga: toga
[by] the toga

[he] seized [him].
apprehendo / apprehendit: seize, apprehend
adprehendit
apprehendo / apprehendit: seize, apprehend
[he] seized [him].

Then
deinde: then, next
deinde
deinde: then, next
Then

[he] called out:
clamo: call
clamantem
clamo: call
[he] called out:

This
iste / ista: that, he
ista
iste / ista: that, he
This

in fact
quidem: indeed, in fact
quidem
quidem: indeed, in fact
in fact

[only] an appearance
video / visus / visu: see, be seen, seem, appear
uis
vis: strength, violence, assault
an assault

is!
sum / est: be
est!'
sum / est: be
is!

One
alter: one, another
alter
alter: one, another
One

of
ex / e: out of
e
ex / e: out of
of

[the] Casca [family]
Casca: Casca
Cascis
Casca: Casca
[the] Casca [family]

[from] the other side [?]
aversus / aversum: averse, facing away, rear
auersum
aversus / aversum: averse, facing away, rear
[from] the other side [?]

covered [him]
velo / velarat: veil, conceal, cover
uulnerat
vulnero / vulnerat: wound, injure, hurt
wounded [him]

a little
paulus / paulum: little
paulum
paulus / paulum: little
a little

under
infra: below
infra
infra: below
under

[another] angle [??].
angulus / angulum: angle, out-of-the-way spot
iugulum
iugulum: collarbone
the collarbone.

Divus Julius 82.b

Caesar stabs his red paint bag with his stylus.

Caesar stabs an attacker in the arm with his stylus. This seems to be the only moment of toughness & defense the author has granted him here.

If the stabbing with the stylus is not a pun, then this may be how the bags filled with red paint are used, which were introduced before: You puncture them with a sharp object, and the red paint will leak out!

The only word I found that’s somewhat close to brachium “arm” and means “bag” is pera. You could add the suffix -cum or -culum to get the C.

The rest fits very well: prosilio means “leaping forward”, but also “gushing forward”, like fake blood.

Divus Julius 82.c

Encrypted: [Then] Caesar a hidden bag / satchel / wallet [???] seized [and with his] graphic stylus stabbed [it]. Similar to gushing out playing / mocking a wounding deliberately [??] [it] was.

Official: [Then] Caesar [of] Casca the forearm seized [and with his] graphic stylus stabbed [it]. In an effort to leap [away] [by] another wounding hindered [he] was.

[Then] Caesar
Caesar: Caesar
Caesar
Caesar: Caesar
[Then] Caesar

a hidden
caecus / caecis / caeca: hidden, secret, concealed
Cascae
Casca: Casca
[of] Casca

bag / satchel / wallet [???]
pera: bag, satchel; -cum: (suffix); perula: little wallet; peracula: little bag
brachium
brachium: lower arm, forearm
the forearm

seized
arreptus: seized, arrested
arreptum
arreptus: seized, arrested
seized

[and with his] graphic stylus
graphium: stylus, pen
graphio
graphium: stylus, pen
[and with his] graphic stylus

stabbed [it].
traicio: stab, pierce
traiecit
traicio: stab, pierce
stabbed [it].

Similar
connatus: twin, similar, alike
conatusque
conatus: attempt, effort
In an effort

to gushing out
prosilio: gush out
prosilire
prosilio: leap, rush, jump
to leap [away]

playing / mocking
alludo / allusi: jest, mocking allusion
alio
alius / aliud / alio: another, different
[by] another

a wounding
vulnero: wound, injure, hurt
uulnere
vulnero: wound, injure, hurt
wounding

deliberately [??]
tardus: slow, measured, deliberate
tardatus
tardo: retard, hinder
hindered

[it] was.
sum / est: be
est
sum / est: be
[he] was.

Divus Julius 82.c

When painted sufficiently, Caesar falls down covering himself.

Caesar covers his nether regions with his toga before he falls down to die. Is this what a real conqueror would do in his last moment?

Very little punnery is needed here, as the paragraph already reads like a staged play. Only the strictis pugionibus peti “tightly with daggers attacked” would be a pun with strictim pingebas pateo “superficially painted extensively” (grammar may be wrong).

Divus Julius 82.d

Encrypted: As [he] noticed [that] from all sides himself superficially was painted / colored extensively, [with his] toga [his] head he covered, simutaneously [with his] left hand the folds [of his toga] to his lower legs he drew, so that more handsomely [he would] fall [with] still [his] lower body parts covered.

Official: As [he] noticed [that] from all sides himself tightly [was with] daggers aimed for, [with his] toga [his] head he covered, simutaneously [with his] left hand the folds [of his toga] to his lower legs he drew, so that more honorable [he would] fall [with] still [his] lower body parts covered.

As [he]
ut: as, how
utque
ut: as, how
As [he]

noticed [that]
animadverto: attend, notice
animaduertit
animadverto: attend, notice
noticed [that]

from all sides
undique: from all sides, completely
undique
undique: from all sides, completely
from all sides

himself
se: himself
se
se: himself
himself

superficially
strictim: superficially, cursorily
strictis
strictus / strictis: tight, close
tightly

was painted / colored
pingo / pingebas: paint, color, deceptive; -es / -ibus: (suffix)
pugionibus
pugio / pugionibus: dagger
[was with] daggers

extensively,
pateo / pate: open, extend
peti
peto: seek, aim at, attack
aimed for,

[with his] toga
toga: toga
toga
toga: toga
[with his] toga

[his] head
caput: head
caput
caput: head
[his] head

he covered,
obvolvo: wrap around, cover all over
obuoluit
obvolvo: wrap around, cover all over
he covered,

simutaneously
simul: simultaneously
simul
simul: simultaneously
simutaneously

[with his] left
sinister: left
sinistra
sinister: left
[with his] left

hand
manus: hand
manu
manus: hand
hand

the folds [of his toga]
sinus / sinum: fold, garment, hanging toga
sinum
sinus / sinum: fold, garment, hanging toga
the folds [of his toga]

to
ad: to
ad
ad: to
to

his lower
imus: lowest
ima
imus: lowest
his lower

legs
crus / crura: leg
crura
crus / crura: leg
legs

he drew,
deduco: draw out, draw down
deduxit
deduco: draw out, draw down
he drew,

so that
quo: so that
quo
quo: so that
so that

more handsomely
honestus: decent, handsome
honestius
honestior / honestius: honorable
more honorable

[he would] fall
cado: fall
caderet
cado: fall
[he would] fall

[with] still
etiam: yet, still
etiam
etiam: yet, still
[with] still

[his] lower
infero: produce, carry in, throw upon, apply
inferiore
inferus: below, lower
[his] lower

body
corpus: body
corporis
corpus: body
body

parts
pars: part
parte
pars: part
parts

covered.
velo / velata: veil, cover
uelata
velo / velata: veil, cover
covered.

Divus Julius 82.d

Et tu, Brute? Caesar retires with a trick.

This is the famous dying Caesar quote, spoken to Brutus: “And you, child?” But according to the text, Caesar says it in Greek! The phrase already makes little sense, but how can the Greek make sense? My guess is that this part was copied from some Greek text, perhaps about another fake assassination, and the authors couldn’t make the punnery work in Latin!

This pun was actually the easiest: και συ τεκνον kai su teknon “and you, child” puns with χαζω τεχνην chazō technēn “retiring with a cunning trick”. Which is what this fake assassination is, plain & simple.

Note also the naughty pun hinting at their relationship.

Divus Julius 82.e

Encrypted: And in this way [with] agitation and empty impressions [he did] the confusion, being once only in the first performance act of a comedy [???], [but] without any voice [part] performed, although say some [that when] Marcus Brutus [once?] rushed into [him] [!?!] [he] said: [I shall] retire [with a] cunning / subterfuge!

Official: And in this way [with] three and twenty wounds [he was] damaged, being [having] once only at the first blow groaned, [but] without any [loud] sound emitted, although say some [that when] Marcus Brutus attacked [him], [he] said: Even you, child?

And
atque: and
atque
atque: and
And

in this way
ita: therefore, in this way
ita
ita: therefore, in this way
in this way

[with] agitation
turbo / turbas / turbes: disturb, agitate
tribus
tres / tribus: three
[with] three

and
et: and
et
et: and
and

empty
vacans / vacanti: emptying
uiginti
viginti: twenty
twenty

impressions
plaga: web, trap, curtain, impression
plagis
plaga: wound, strike
wounds

[he did] the confusion,
confundo / confusu: confound, confuse
confossus
confodio / confossus: damage
[he was] damaged,

being
sum / est: be
est
sum / est: be
being [having]

once
unus / uno: one
uno
unus / uno: one
once

only
modo: merely, only
modo
modo: merely, only
only

in
ad: to
ad
ad: to
at

the first
primus: first
primum
primus: first
the first

performance act
actus: act, representation of a character, performance of play
ictum
ictus: blow, stab
blow

of a comedy [???],
comoedus / comoedo: of comedy
gemitu
gemitus / gemitu: sigh, groan
groaned,

[but] without
sine: without
sine
sine: without
[but] without

any voice [part]
vox / voce: voice, sound
uoce
vox / voce: voice, sound
any [loud] sound

performed,
edo / edito: produce, perform, show
edito
edo / edito: give out, bring forth
emitted,

although
etsi: although
etsi
etsi: although
although

say
trado / tradiderunt: teach, narrate
tradiderunt
trado / tradiderunt: teach, narrate
say

some [that when]
quidam: someone
quidam
quidam: someone
some [that when]

Marcus
Marcus: Marcus
Marco
Marcus: Marcus
Marcus

Brutus
Brutus: Brutus
Bruto
Brutus: Brutus
Brutus

[once?] rushed into [him] [!?!]
inruo / inruent: force way in, throw self on, enter eagerly in; inrumo: oral sex
irruenti
inruo / inruent: attack, invade, rush into
attacked [him],

[he] said:
dico: say, talk
dixisse
dico: say, talk
[he] said:

[I shall] retire
chazō: draw back, retire from
kai su
kai: and; su: you
Even you,

[with a] cunning / subterfuge!
technē / technēn: art, craft, cunning, wile; technazō: cunning, art, subterfuge
teknon
teknon: child
child?

Divus Julius 82.e

Caesar is carried back home by bribed servants.

Caesar lies there for a while, while nothing else happens, and is then just carried back home. This makes little sense for a crime inside the senate, but it does for a staged act.

Little punnery is needed here, only the dependente brachio “hanging arm” is odd. Maybe it’s to say the slaves who carried him were dependunte pretio “paid a price” for their silence. This might work, since in almost all other Romance languages but Latin (and in English), “price” is written with a C.

Divus Julius 82.f

Encrypted: [When] the crowds had dispersed entirely, for a while he lied until [in a] palanquin [he] was placed, [having been] paid [?] a price / bribe [??], [by] three slaves of his house [who] brought [him] back.

Official: [When he] was dead [and as] dispersed all [people], for a while he lied, until [in a] palanquin [he] was placed, [with a] hanging forearm, [by] three slaves of his house [who] brought [him] back.

[When] the crowds
examen: crowd, swarm, multitude
exanimis
exanimis: dead, breathless
[When he] was dead

had dispersed
diffugio: disperse, scatter
diffugientibus
diffugio: disperse, scatter
[and as] dispersed

entirely,
cunctus: all, entire
cunctis
cunctus: all, entire
all [people],

for a while
aliquamdiu: for a while
aliquamdiu
aliquamdiu: for a while
for a while

he lied
iaceo / iacuit: lie down, lie still
iacuit
iaceo / iacuit: lie down, lie still
he lied,

until
donec: while, until
donec
donec: while, until
until

[in a] palanquin
lectica: sedan, palanquin
lecticae
lectica: sedan, palanquin
[in a] palanquin

[he] was placed,
impono: impose, put upon
impositum
impono: impose, put upon
[he] was placed,

[having been] paid [?]
dependo: spend, pay
dependente
dependeo: hang down
[with a] hanging

a price / bribe [??],
pretium / pretio: price, reward, bribe
brachio
brachium / brachio: arm, forearm
forearm,

[by] three
tres: three
tres
tres: three
[by] three

slaves
servolus: slave; servus: servant, slave
seruoli
servolus: slave; servus: servant, slave
slaves

of his house
domus: house
domum
domus: house
of his house

[who] brought [him] back.
refero / rettulerunt: bring back
rettulerunt
refero / rettulerunt: bring back
[who] brought [him] back.

Divus Julius 82.f

No other hoaxed event worked so excellent with paint.

Here they claim that no wound was as deadly as that special one.

The punnery was hard to make out, but they probably mean that no staged act was excellent as this one (of course). The vulneribus “wounding” may be a pun with a compound term like velo-narratibus “veiled stories”, i.e. fake events.

Note the medico pun, which may explain the name of the Medici family!

Divus Julius 82.g

Encrypted: Not among the many veiled stories [???], there [was] [so] excellent [with] paint / color [??] thought to be [??] deadly any one found to be, except [those] which [had] adapted [?] the [entire?] location [?] into a picture [??] for entertainment [??].

Official: Not among the many wounds, that [was] [of] Antistius [his] surgeon the estimate, [was] deadly any one found to be, except [that] which [was the] second, [which] located in the breast [he] received.

Not
nec: not
nec
nec: not
Not

among
in: in
in
in: in
among

the many
tot: so many
tot
tot: so many
the many

veiled stories [???],
velo: veil; narro: narrate, tell; narratus / narratibus: narration, story
uulneribus
vulnero: wound, injure, hurt
wounds,

there [was]
ut: where, that
ut
ut: where, that
that [was]

[so] excellent
antesto / antestas: superior, excel, surpass
Antistius
Antistius: Antistius
[of] Antistius

[with] paint / color [??]
medico: dye with color
medicus
medicus: medical, surgeon
[his] surgeon

thought to be [??]
existimo: estimate, think, judge, consider
existimabat
existimo: estimate, think, judge, consider
the estimate,

deadly
letalis: lethal, deadly, mortal
letale
letalis: lethal, deadly, mortal
[was] deadly

any one
ullus / ullum: any
ullum
ullus / ullum: any
any one

found
reperio: find
repertum
reperio: find
found

to be,
sum / est: be
est
sum / est: be
to be,

except
nisi: if not, unless
nisi
nisi: if not, unless
except

[those] which
quod: which, what
quod
quod: which, what
[that] which

[had] adapted [?]
secundo: adjust, adapt
secundo
secundus / secundo: second
[was the] second,

the [entire?] location [?]
loco: put, place, arrange
loco
locus / loco: location, place
[which] located

into
in: in, into
in
in: in, into
in

a picture [??]
pictura / picturae: picture, painting
pectore
pectus / pectore: breast
the breast

for entertainment [??].
accipio: learn, entertain, understand
acceperat
accipio: accept, receive
[he] received.

Divus Julius 82.g

The event was an opportunity to loot the lower classes.

Here the assassins plan to drag Caesar’s body into the Tiber, but then abandon the plan because they fear Caesar’s allies. That’s also ridiculous! Wouldn’t those allies hate them either way, because they, y’know, killed him?

The punnery is hard to make out, but the Tiberim “Tiber” may be an (anagram) pun with tribum “common people” who were duped here. The other phrases literally describe confiscation of wealth, so it seems faked events were used by the governing elites for public looting, then as now!

Divus Julius 82.h

Encrypted: [There also] was the plan to convert [??] [of his] killing the opportunity into [of] the lower classes [??] [to be] plundered / swayed [??], [of] wealth to confiscate, [of] administrative acts to rescind, not to mention [?] [it was] announced [by] Marcus Antonius the consul, and [by] the master of horses Lepidus, [as a] deception / cheat.

Official: [There also] was the plan [by] the conspirators [of his] body slain into the Tiber river to drag, [his] wealth to confiscate, [his] administrative acts to rescind, but [for] fear [of] Marcus Antonius the consul, and [of] the master of horses Lepidus, they abandoned [this].

[There also] was
sum / fuerat: be
fuerat
sum / fuerat: be
[There also] was

the plan
animus: idea, intent, plan
animus
animus: idea, intent, plan
the plan

to convert [??]
converto / convertis: convert, transform
coniuratis
coniuratus: conspirator, plotter
[by] the conspirators

[of his] killing
corporo: make into a body, kill
corpus
corpus: body
[of his] body

the opportunity
occasio: occasion, pretext, opportunity
occisi
occisus: felled, killed, slain
slain

into
in: in, into
in
in: in, into
into

[of] the lower classes [??]
tribus / tribum: tribe, mob, lower classes
Tiberim
Tiberis / Tiberim: Tiber river
the Tiber river

[to be] plundered / swayed [??],
traho / trahere: plunder, squander, sway, win over, attract support
trahere
traho / trahere: drag, pull
to drag,

[of] wealth
bonus: wealth, costly things
bona
bonus: wealth, costly things
[his] wealth

to confiscate,
publicatio: publication, confiscation
publicare
publicatio: publication, confiscation
to confiscate,

[of] administrative acts
acta: acts, transactions; ago / actus: administer, govern
acta
acta: acts, transactions; ago / actus: administer, govern
[his] administrative acts

to rescind,
rescindo: rescind, abolish, annul
rescindere
rescindo: rescind, abolish, annul
to rescind,

not to mention [?]
sed: but also, not to mention
sed
sed: but
but

[it was] announced
mitto / mitte: emit, guide, announce, report
metu
metus / metu: fear, dread
[for] fear

[by] Marcus
Marcus: Marcus
Marci
Marcus: Marcus
[of] Marcus

Antonius
Antonius: Antonius
Antoni
Antonius: Antonius
Antonius

the consul,
consul: consul
consulis
consul: consul
the consul,

and
et: and
et
et: and
and

[by] the master
magister: master
magistri
magister: master
[of] the master

of horses
equus: horse
equitum
equus: horse
of horses

Lepidus,
Lepidus: Lepidus
Lepidi
Lepidus: Lepidus
Lepidus,

[as a] deception / cheat.
destituo: delude, deceive, cheat
destiterunt
destituo: desert, abandon
they abandoned [this].

Divus Julius 82.h

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