Yahweh

As an extra disclaimer: I do not intend to insult God or religion here. I think there is nothing wrong with religion or the idea of a God in general. What I want to prove here is that the ruling aristocrats who have instituted religions — all religions, not just monotheism — never believed in any religion, or in any god. To them, religions have always been mere tools, just like all other human institutions.

The Yahweh puns in a nutshell

The official explanation for YHWH is a pun with “I am who I am” in Exodus 3:14. However, if you change the first He to Ḥet, the resulting word is יחוה yḥwh which means “show” (also found in Eve and aces & eights). If you then spell the V with Bet instead of Waw, the resulting word is יחבה yḥbh which means “hidden”. This makes it a “hidden ruler” pun. This is even a Biblical name: Jehubbah, occurring once in 1 Chronicles 7:34. It looks a lot like Jehovah.

With He ≈ Ḥet and Bet ≈ Waw, we get the following puns, some confirmed by the Biblical story:

• God wasn’t created but simply is there, because hyh means “to be”.
• God is hidden most of the time, because yḥbh means “hidden”. The spooks also like this concept.
• God occasionally shows himself, because yḥwh means “show”. The spooks like this concept as well, but only “show” us false forms.
• God resides in a chest and in a tent, because Arabic ḫbˀ means “box” & “tent”. It also means “veil”, another spooky concept.
• God is love according to some verses, because ḥbh means “love”.
• God regularly punishes for sins, because ḥwb means “guilt” & “punishment for sin”. The same word also means “financial debt”, another popular spook concept.
• God appears as a burning bush, because ḥbb means “burnable brushwood”.
• God’s appears specifically as a thorn bush, because hwbˀy means “thorn” & “desert plant”.
• The spooks may be so vain that they see God as an exaggerated version of themselves, because hbˀy means “vanity” & “exaggeration”.

The combined name YHWH-Elohim then puns with “hidden rulers” and “banker lords”.

Semitic hyh for “to be”

The most common explanation for Yahweh / Jehovah is that the name is somehow related to the Exodus 3:14 phrase אהיה אשר אהיה ˀhyh ˀšr ˀhyh for “I am who I am”, and thus to the verb היה hyh which means “to be” or “to become”.

The idea here could be that an all-powerful omnipresent spiritual being is not created by anything else, but “is” simply there.

And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you.

wyˀmr ˀlhym ˀl mšh ˀhyh ˀšr ˀhyh wyˀmr kh tˀmr lbny yšrˀl ˀhyh šlḥny ˀlykm

ויאמר אלהים אל משה אהיה אשר אהיה ויאמר כה תאמר לבני ישראל אהיה שלחני אליכם

Exodus 3:14

That verb meaning “to be” has many different grammar forms & spellings such as היה hyh / יהי yhy / יהיה yhyh / והיה whyh / יהוא yhwˀ / הוה hwh. A related form, indexed separately, is הוא hwˀ / הוה hwh for “to become”.

None of the occurrences quite matches YHWH. However, since the form יהוא yhwˀ occurs regularly, that’s maybe because later editors censored all occurrences of a mere grammatical yhwh into yhwˀ, switching the suffix He for Aleph. Apart from that, the verb “to be” can occur with practically any combination of vowels around an H, so the pun is valid.

Semitic ḥbh for “hidden”

We know how much the spook aristocrats are obsessed with their identity as “hidden rulers”, because almost all spook names mean either “hidden” or “ruler” or “hidden ruler”.

We also know that Elohim means “rulers”. To make Yahweh Elohim a “hidden ruler” pun, YHWH would need to pun with a word meaning “hidden”. And indeed it does.

• In Biblical & modern Hebrew, both W and B can denote a V sound. Examples are names like Eve or David. This is a general rule: Bet ≈ Waw
• We also know that He and Ḥet were often interchangeable in different dialects. We even know from transcribed names such as Ieoud for yḥd that Ḥet was sometimes almost silent, like He. That’s another rule: He ≈ Ḥet
• We could thus imagine a pun where the W in YHWH (pronounced V) was swapped for B (also pronounced V), and the He was swapped for Ḥet. The resulting word would be יחבה yḥbh, pronounced like Yahveh with a scratchy H.
• And indeed, this is a grammar form for the fairly common verb חבה ḥbh chavah meaning “hidden”.
• Amazingly, it’s even a Biblical name: Jehubbah, also meaning “hidden”. Suspiciously, it was marked up with Qere & Ketiv later, to make people read it as Vehubbah. Later spooks probably found the clue too obvious.

Arabic ḫbˀ for “box”, “tent”, “veil”

The Semitic root ḥbˀ for “hiding” (written with Ḥet) surfaces in Arabic as ḫbˀ for “hiding”, “box”, “tent”, “veil” (written with Ḫa). Hebrew doesn’t have the letter Ḫa, so this is clearly the same word, with derived meanings. There’s also an Arabic grammar form yḫbˀ for “hiding”, which is again similar to Jehubbah / Jehovah.

As confirmation for this pun, we have the strange in-story feature of God residing in a literal box, the Arc of the Covenant, and also in a literal tent, the Tent of Meeting. Arabic ḫbˀ is a synonym for both “box” & “tent”, and also puns with Jehovah.

As for the “veil”, this is obviously just a spooky pun, and not a feature of an actual God. The ancient spooks often used such terms for “veiling”, to describe their collective “masking”. Arabic ḫbˀ has also derivations that mean “cunning” & “cheating”, so the spooks were aware that their entire act was malicious.

Semitic ḥbh for “love”

God is often associated with love. There are even Bible verses claiming that God is love: 1 John 4:8, 1 John 4:16. And indeed, this kind of God is one that’s worth believing in.

But for the spooks, this may merely mean that the name Jehova also puns with ḥwb / ḥbb for “love”. That word is sometimes even officially linked to ḥbh for “hidden”, because “love” is an invisible thing that is “hidden inside”. There’s also another explanation via “burning” emotion though.

Semitic ḥwb for “punishment” & “financial debt”

Very often in the Old Testament, God as Yahweh is not exactly all loving, but deals out severe punishment for perceived misbehavior. (The God of the New Testament is depicted like this less often.) This punishment can be explained as a pun too, because the root חוב ḥwb means “sin”, “guilt”, “punishment”, and even “financial debt”.

As an aside, since El means “lord” & “god”, and Baal also means “lord” & “god”, it’s interesting to note that בעל חובה bˁl-ḥwbh baal-huvvah means “creditor”, literally “owner of debt”. For the spook overlords, Jehovah-Elohim may even be a synonym pun of sorts, with Baalim-Jehuvvah meaning “creditors”, which would be… them. In the shortened form bˁl-ḥwb, the word is still used today, and can mean both “creditor” & “debtor”. Modern meaning seems to have been shifted more towards “debtor”.

The creditor owns the pledge.

bˁl ḥwb qwnh mškwn

בעל חוב קונה משכון

Jastrow: pledge

Semitic ḥbb for “burnable brushwood”

The verse Exodus 3:2 tells the odd story of Moses hearing God from a “burning bush”. The explanation may also be a pun with the word Jehovah: The term ḥbh / ḥbb for “love” also means “burning” (perhaps linked via “hot” emotion), and is specifically used for small bushes & burnable brushwood that you can use to start a fire. In this sense, Jehova is a homonym to a synonym for “burning bush”.

(The burning bush verse in its entirety may tell a totally unrelated story, but I haven’t decrypted it yet.)

Semitic hwbˀy for “thorn bush”

The specific burning bush of God may even be a thorn bush, because hwbˀy means “thorn” & “desert plant”.